It's cold.
I do hate being alone.
If I ever met an interesting yet emotionally stable woman I would buy her dinner on the spot. No lies.
Break is dull.
Work.
Sleep.
Eat.
Work out.
Christmas is tomorrow.
It's a sad kind of night though.
I should work on the game, but tonight it's simply too much effort to move.
I'm almost 20 years old, and I still don't know how to be a person. Yay! I'm so very good at being a human. I either want to sleep with, bite to death, shoot, maim, trample or run away from every person I've ever met. It doesn't work well for one's sanity.
Then again, neither does a perfect circle, but I still indulge in that.
I'm not good at this,
Angel
20101224
20101223
Project 1.0
I think I have settled on a rough system, just the bare basics for how the game will work. The game is as follows:
Number of players: 2-10, in any number of factions or alliances as a start.
How played: With miniatures or placemarkers. Used on any 3 dimensional table top surface of a decent size. Works off of inches, not hexagonal spaces. Notebook and paper.
In a pregame session, the scenario is laid out, which will be formulated exactly at a later date. Basically it sets the stage of a world of large isolated lands, never knowing a war outside of civil wars, being thrusted into each other due to an appearance of outside technologies that allow for movement between the lands instantaneously and for communication to be rapid and efficient.
Each land has resources that are valuable, but not absolutely necessary. Each one could benefit the others, but in ways that aren't necessary for life to continue (at the beginning at least. One can see a Dune-Spice-Trade idea being a possibility for a weak culture to lean on.)
These lands can now begin a trade of goods and services in order to take their land to the lead in power, influence and prosperity. At any time, and for any provocation, a country can declare war on another bringing his own allies, and facing the federation of the enemy.
The winner of the war has the possibility to wipe the dedicated enemy from the board (genocide, with no benefits beyond one more player out of the game,) enslave the enemy (force them to work for you, but if you lose a war or lose too much political clout, then can be freed by other countries or themselves) or forcibly barter at an advantage (keeping the enemy in the game, but relieving them of resources.) Any allies of the loser loses the resources they invested, while the winners gain benefits as specified by their alliance.
Conditions for Victory: Enemy has been destroyed (military), all countries are under your rule or allied for more than 1 year (political), all countries rely on you for sustenance (economic)
Comments, thoughts and concerns are welcome,
Angel
Number of players: 2-10, in any number of factions or alliances as a start.
How played: With miniatures or placemarkers. Used on any 3 dimensional table top surface of a decent size. Works off of inches, not hexagonal spaces. Notebook and paper.
In a pregame session, the scenario is laid out, which will be formulated exactly at a later date. Basically it sets the stage of a world of large isolated lands, never knowing a war outside of civil wars, being thrusted into each other due to an appearance of outside technologies that allow for movement between the lands instantaneously and for communication to be rapid and efficient.
Each land has resources that are valuable, but not absolutely necessary. Each one could benefit the others, but in ways that aren't necessary for life to continue (at the beginning at least. One can see a Dune-Spice-Trade idea being a possibility for a weak culture to lean on.)
These lands can now begin a trade of goods and services in order to take their land to the lead in power, influence and prosperity. At any time, and for any provocation, a country can declare war on another bringing his own allies, and facing the federation of the enemy.
The winner of the war has the possibility to wipe the dedicated enemy from the board (genocide, with no benefits beyond one more player out of the game,) enslave the enemy (force them to work for you, but if you lose a war or lose too much political clout, then can be freed by other countries or themselves) or forcibly barter at an advantage (keeping the enemy in the game, but relieving them of resources.) Any allies of the loser loses the resources they invested, while the winners gain benefits as specified by their alliance.
Conditions for Victory: Enemy has been destroyed (military), all countries are under your rule or allied for more than 1 year (political), all countries rely on you for sustenance (economic)
Comments, thoughts and concerns are welcome,
Angel
Entry 25
It's break, so these are going to continue to be dull, so I will pepper these day-to-days with personal anecdotes about what is going on in my head rather than just my life.
But getting out of the way the necessities:
I finished MEPS today, got out around 10 which was really good time apparently. Was accosted by a homeless person for my laptop, and then had my legal papers fly out onto the middle of broadway. I dodged cars while scooping up my guaranteed-identity-theft-kit and survived.
I'm officially cleared to join the Army, in whatever occupation I want.
Got home, moseyed around for a bit, then went to work until midnight. While I work I find myself oddly attracted to MS, but she's much younger, and while legal, I think it's just the whore in me wanting some attention; to which I say "you sir will get yours in due time. But lets not be a fool." Of course my little whore inside replied, "Fools get some." I have no response to that, but for now his advice is shunned in hopes of something else, even if I don't know what yet.
There will be a slight notation on the idea of god soon coming, look for it. I can easily obtain an acceptance of a god, but going further than that I don't think is possible. Go me, I'll be damned everywhere, but that's just what I can believe.
For now,
Angel
But getting out of the way the necessities:
I finished MEPS today, got out around 10 which was really good time apparently. Was accosted by a homeless person for my laptop, and then had my legal papers fly out onto the middle of broadway. I dodged cars while scooping up my guaranteed-identity-theft-kit and survived.
I'm officially cleared to join the Army, in whatever occupation I want.
Got home, moseyed around for a bit, then went to work until midnight. While I work I find myself oddly attracted to MS, but she's much younger, and while legal, I think it's just the whore in me wanting some attention; to which I say "you sir will get yours in due time. But lets not be a fool." Of course my little whore inside replied, "Fools get some." I have no response to that, but for now his advice is shunned in hopes of something else, even if I don't know what yet.
There will be a slight notation on the idea of god soon coming, look for it. I can easily obtain an acceptance of a god, but going further than that I don't think is possible. Go me, I'll be damned everywhere, but that's just what I can believe.
For now,
Angel
20101221
Entry 24
Messaging from the hotel at MEPS. My roommate is awesome hah, great guy, funny, we're watching Tosh.0. He's here for the DLAB, which is for people looking to be Linguists in the Air Force.
In other news, I got in the 99% for my ASVAB. That's pretty much awesome. I am qualified for any job in the Army. That's freaking awesome. Yeah for Tier 2 forces.
Well, gotta sleep.
Just thought I'd post tonight,
Angel
In other news, I got in the 99% for my ASVAB. That's pretty much awesome. I am qualified for any job in the Army. That's freaking awesome. Yeah for Tier 2 forces.
Well, gotta sleep.
Just thought I'd post tonight,
Angel
20101219
Entry 23
Work has begun on a new tabletop wargame of my design. I'm trying to forget everything I know about wargames and build this on pure concept. No Warmachine, no 40k, I want this to be entirely of Angel design. I'm aiming for it being artsy as well as functional and fun. I've got time though, as there is no deadline. But I want to do this, and create the perfect game. I will make a system so beautiful, players will cry just to play it, and play it they shall.
My ego is wonderful tonight, thanks for asking.
Beyond that, I've not done much today. I talked with the healer today, he was pretty good. We wandered for a bit, discussed things. He is also participating in the wargame. Hopefully he gets along well this break.
Schro has gotten along well this break. The family fights over him.
Midget 1 has finished Mass Effect and Midget 2 is well on her way to it. Good times.
Signing off,
Angel
My ego is wonderful tonight, thanks for asking.
Beyond that, I've not done much today. I talked with the healer today, he was pretty good. We wandered for a bit, discussed things. He is also participating in the wargame. Hopefully he gets along well this break.
Schro has gotten along well this break. The family fights over him.
Midget 1 has finished Mass Effect and Midget 2 is well on her way to it. Good times.
Signing off,
Angel
20101218
20101216
Entry 21
I'm procrastinating before cranking out the rest of my MilSci Final. I've got about two minutes left before my designated "do this crap" time. I really should have been doing it all along. The entire final basically consists of "you're now an officer in a unit. What do you do? OK, now throw this curveball at you, now this one, and this one and this one, WOOPS you've been shipped out, now do this mission and this patrol and this mission, curveball, curveball, sinker, slider, curveball. You're done."
The night was dull; got back and turned on a movie, only to fall asleep in the middle of it.
Found a new profile picture this morning, haha.
Still considering different things to help everyone out. I'll see how the department looks when I turn in my final today, so I can get the last bit of data and gauge the level of intensity and clarity everyone has.
I'm hopefully getting out of dodge today. Might be taking Mari back into St Louis with me, which would be nice because then I'd have some gas money hopefully.
Alright, time to get this done,
Angel.
The night was dull; got back and turned on a movie, only to fall asleep in the middle of it.
Found a new profile picture this morning, haha.
Still considering different things to help everyone out. I'll see how the department looks when I turn in my final today, so I can get the last bit of data and gauge the level of intensity and clarity everyone has.
I'm hopefully getting out of dodge today. Might be taking Mari back into St Louis with me, which would be nice because then I'd have some gas money hopefully.
Alright, time to get this done,
Angel.
20101215
Entry 20
I just got back from CH's place. It was actually an enjoyable time. CH himself was blitzed, so it was amusing to see him interact with his girlfriend PK.
LS and I are actually getting along extremely well nowadays. He's a more cynical version of me to an extent; yes children, that is possible. Where as I keep the hope that someone will work out well, and plan for the worst, he just expects the worst and doesn't get any joy out of anything else. He's a good guy though, very observant as well.
We got some embarrassing information out of BL tonight. It's both amusing and sad. I liked her a bit, so to hear her act kind of ashamed about sleeping with one of the other cadets was upsetting, but that's how that kind of thing works.
It's good to see everyone else outside of a professional atmosphere though, because half these people have social lives just as screwed up as mine ;)
And THEY don't have a kitten to play with, so I am slightly better off.
Well, I'm going to try and sleep. Keep it classy folks,
Angel
LS and I are actually getting along extremely well nowadays. He's a more cynical version of me to an extent; yes children, that is possible. Where as I keep the hope that someone will work out well, and plan for the worst, he just expects the worst and doesn't get any joy out of anything else. He's a good guy though, very observant as well.
We got some embarrassing information out of BL tonight. It's both amusing and sad. I liked her a bit, so to hear her act kind of ashamed about sleeping with one of the other cadets was upsetting, but that's how that kind of thing works.
It's good to see everyone else outside of a professional atmosphere though, because half these people have social lives just as screwed up as mine ;)
And THEY don't have a kitten to play with, so I am slightly better off.
Well, I'm going to try and sleep. Keep it classy folks,
Angel
20101213
Manly Tears
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq6L7_M4DLU&feature=related
Maes Hughes is Roy Mustang's confidant and the caretaker for the Elric Brothers. He was murdered the evening prior. This is his funeral.
This clip is what I was talking about to those that it applies to.
Maes Hughes is Roy Mustang's confidant and the caretaker for the Elric Brothers. He was murdered the evening prior. This is his funeral.
This clip is what I was talking about to those that it applies to.
Interlude 5
The cat and I are at war. He needs to learn to be alone for a bit without crying, or to sleep longer. I cannot keep waking up at 3am to move him to my room, and then at listen to him meow for hours and hours. I'm going to go crazy. I didn't even try to get back to sleep today, hence why I'm up at 0640 on my first Monday in a LONG time in which I didn't have PT.
Basically this morning I had a friend send me like a bagillion sad pictures. Thank you mam, but you, faithful readers, will only get the cream of the crop.
I hope this expands when I upload it, because it doesn't really do it justice in the small format. It's just a very very sad and cute picture, it makes me cry a little. Kinda says something, that picture.
This picture is so telling that it's not even funny. He (I imagine) is just protecting her (once again, just guessing) from the highway traffic. He probably doesn't even understand that she's dead, all he knows is that she's there and not moving and these things can hurt her, and no one is going to get near. He always stands in the way of the cars, never on the far side.
And what are people doing? Taking pictures. They don't even stop the traffic for just a moment of decency to get them out of the way. They can't get them to safety. No, they take pictures.
I hate people, I really do.
I've got a few more, but that's all for now,
Angel
Basically this morning I had a friend send me like a bagillion sad pictures. Thank you mam, but you, faithful readers, will only get the cream of the crop.
I hope this expands when I upload it, because it doesn't really do it justice in the small format. It's just a very very sad and cute picture, it makes me cry a little. Kinda says something, that picture.
And what are people doing? Taking pictures. They don't even stop the traffic for just a moment of decency to get them out of the way. They can't get them to safety. No, they take pictures.
I hate people, I really do.
Yay for hopeful kitty!
I've got a few more, but that's all for now,
Angel
20101212
Interlude 4
I get a redo, right? I get to start over? Just hit the reset button and load from a different save point? I get to try again, and do things just a little differently? I don't want to step on butterflies, I just want to tweak like three moments. Change those, and maybe, just maybe it would all be different? Please?
Entry 19
It's almost comical how that storm basically just ignored the town on its way through, at least for the snow part. It hit the borders and just dissipated.
Welcome to 3:40 posting, my faithful four readers. I've been up for an hour, just trying to get back to sleep; it's not working obviously. But I've got a playlist of melancholy music to listen to until I feel like going unconscious and hallucinating for a while.
Everyday is Exactly the Same - Nine Inch Nails
Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails
Right Where it Belongs - Nine Inch Nails
Water Temple Theme (Extended) - Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Soundtrack
Serenity - Kameo Elements of Power Soundtrack
The Noose - A Perfect Circle
M4 pt. 2 - Faunts
The Day the World Went Away - Nine Inch Nails
I had fun today, but things like that can only be few and far between for reasons already noted to the individual. Both looking for different things out of that relationship, and the whole Sid and Nancy thing because of it will end us up... well, probably like Sid and Nancy. So that's not ideal.
There's a kitten leaned up against me currently. We tried sleeping in the same room tonight; he snuggled up against me and it worked well for the first four or so hours. But the wind woke one or both of us up which has ended up unfortunate. Can't blame him for that though. He's become quite the well mannered kitty, outside of the occasional "I'mma batshit crazy and gonna jump on everything and knock crap over," fit. Hopefully it goes over well when I bring him home.
The Road is very very good, but also very very sad. I also figured out why I have such conflicting views on movies with a lot of people. I'm pretty used to things sucking in general, so if I'm looking for escapism under the guise of a movie, I'm not opposed to a sad movie. At least it's not my life that is sad at that point, but someone else's. Yay for schadenfreude, and yes my computer does thinks that word is spelled wrong. What I'm getting at is that I'm actually pretty ok with being sad, and thus I enjoy movie that aren't necessarily happy, where as most people detest being sad and thus don't like these movies. On that note, they should never see The Road, because it is incredibly sad.
Gonna try and sleep,
Angel
Welcome to 3:40 posting, my faithful four readers. I've been up for an hour, just trying to get back to sleep; it's not working obviously. But I've got a playlist of melancholy music to listen to until I feel like going unconscious and hallucinating for a while.
Everyday is Exactly the Same - Nine Inch Nails
Something I Can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails
Right Where it Belongs - Nine Inch Nails
Water Temple Theme (Extended) - Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Soundtrack
Serenity - Kameo Elements of Power Soundtrack
The Noose - A Perfect Circle
M4 pt. 2 - Faunts
The Day the World Went Away - Nine Inch Nails
I had fun today, but things like that can only be few and far between for reasons already noted to the individual. Both looking for different things out of that relationship, and the whole Sid and Nancy thing because of it will end us up... well, probably like Sid and Nancy. So that's not ideal.
There's a kitten leaned up against me currently. We tried sleeping in the same room tonight; he snuggled up against me and it worked well for the first four or so hours. But the wind woke one or both of us up which has ended up unfortunate. Can't blame him for that though. He's become quite the well mannered kitty, outside of the occasional "I'mma batshit crazy and gonna jump on everything and knock crap over," fit. Hopefully it goes over well when I bring him home.
The Road is very very good, but also very very sad. I also figured out why I have such conflicting views on movies with a lot of people. I'm pretty used to things sucking in general, so if I'm looking for escapism under the guise of a movie, I'm not opposed to a sad movie. At least it's not my life that is sad at that point, but someone else's. Yay for schadenfreude, and yes my computer does thinks that word is spelled wrong. What I'm getting at is that I'm actually pretty ok with being sad, and thus I enjoy movie that aren't necessarily happy, where as most people detest being sad and thus don't like these movies. On that note, they should never see The Road, because it is incredibly sad.
Gonna try and sleep,
Angel
20101210
Entry 18
Football was a great time. I was happy I went. It's funny to see people's reaction when they realize exactly how much faster I am than them... while running backwards. That's just funny. But I booked it once at full speed and that ended up with the entire game stopping for two minutes while people interrogated me on how I can run that fast.
I wanted to be like, "It's easy, spend your entire childhood running from, A) Cops, B) Bullies, C) Your parents, D) The other kid's parents or E) the world in general."
Instead, I went with, "I learned a lot from Maniac Magee." No one got the reference. What deprived childhoods did they lead?
Jacobs was like "You should never move that fast around 400s again, we'll have to break your kneecaps or something." I thought that was amusing.
I'm very bored. 606 is having a party tonight, but I'm not going. I don't really feel like getting drunk and wandering home at 3am or something. Kitty smells like poop though, because he decided to poop on the floor, but not without cause. I gave him a bath today, and before he could make it to the litterbox to roll in his own poop again, I took it and set it up on the microwave. Unfortunately, I forgot to get it down. Thus, he pooped on my shag rug. NOT cool, but I can't blame him.
But he is getting his butt wiped or scrubbed with soap, because that smells gross.
I think I'm going to sleep now, so I can wake up and hate my body, or at least deal with my body hating me. I have more bruises than Mike Tyson. Decker just liquefied my internal organs. Kid is 240 lbs of muscle, and trained as a lineman and a first string wrestler; so of course he would tackle me up into the air and then land on me, at full speed. That was just uncomfortable. But Dilday was completely demolished by Shackleford once, that was impressive to see.
I had BC Dilday for most of the games as who I was defending. It was nice because he didn't do much while on offense, haha. But it was fun to try and tackle him a few times, he got me good twice though, which was once more than I got him. There will be vengeance if I am still here Wednesday when we all go at it again.
My total was 4 touchdowns, 12 TD throws and a bunch of tackles or assists. I think it's not bad for my second time playing the game. First time playing in any sort of real format. It was fun.
Peace,
Angel.
I wanted to be like, "It's easy, spend your entire childhood running from, A) Cops, B) Bullies, C) Your parents, D) The other kid's parents or E) the world in general."
Instead, I went with, "I learned a lot from Maniac Magee." No one got the reference. What deprived childhoods did they lead?
Jacobs was like "You should never move that fast around 400s again, we'll have to break your kneecaps or something." I thought that was amusing.
I'm very bored. 606 is having a party tonight, but I'm not going. I don't really feel like getting drunk and wandering home at 3am or something. Kitty smells like poop though, because he decided to poop on the floor, but not without cause. I gave him a bath today, and before he could make it to the litterbox to roll in his own poop again, I took it and set it up on the microwave. Unfortunately, I forgot to get it down. Thus, he pooped on my shag rug. NOT cool, but I can't blame him.
But he is getting his butt wiped or scrubbed with soap, because that smells gross.
I think I'm going to sleep now, so I can wake up and hate my body, or at least deal with my body hating me. I have more bruises than Mike Tyson. Decker just liquefied my internal organs. Kid is 240 lbs of muscle, and trained as a lineman and a first string wrestler; so of course he would tackle me up into the air and then land on me, at full speed. That was just uncomfortable. But Dilday was completely demolished by Shackleford once, that was impressive to see.
I had BC Dilday for most of the games as who I was defending. It was nice because he didn't do much while on offense, haha. But it was fun to try and tackle him a few times, he got me good twice though, which was once more than I got him. There will be vengeance if I am still here Wednesday when we all go at it again.
My total was 4 touchdowns, 12 TD throws and a bunch of tackles or assists. I think it's not bad for my second time playing the game. First time playing in any sort of real format. It was fun.
Peace,
Angel.
20101209
Entry 17
Gave my best-man speech for RJ today, got a solid A. Sad though, it's something I should have been doing in reality about this time, not as a class. Got me in a really pissy mood, been pretty steady that way for the rest of the day.
I'm torn, I hate being in STL, but I don't want to stay here. I wish I had relatives out of state I could go visit or something, but I don't, so I'm just stuck here or there. Can I just ignore the hypothetical poison and hit the good stuff? Ah, suicide jokes, always makes the night better. Meh, too blasé about life currently.
I'm gonna kill the cat if it doesn't stop attacking the door though.
Meh,
Angel
I'm torn, I hate being in STL, but I don't want to stay here. I wish I had relatives out of state I could go visit or something, but I don't, so I'm just stuck here or there. Can I just ignore the hypothetical poison and hit the good stuff? Ah, suicide jokes, always makes the night better. Meh, too blasé about life currently.
I'm gonna kill the cat if it doesn't stop attacking the door though.
Meh,
Angel
20101208
Entry 16
Making Mac n Cheese n Peas for dinner. My favourite.
The playlist for the past day has been as follows:
Poe: Could've Gone Mad
Enigma: Why
Kesha: Take It Off
65daysofstatic: Aren't We All Running?
65daysofstatic: Weak4
One Republic: Secrets
Coheed and Cambria: Black Rainbow
Poe: Not a Virgin Anymore
Rise Against: Hero of War
Poe: Wild
RHCP: Aeroplane
Jason Mraz: Plane
Anberlin: Feelgood Drag
Clint Black: Like the Rain
Groove Coverage: Moonlight Shadow
Without A Face: Baylor Squirrels
These New Puritans: Attack Music
Nightwatchman: One Man Revolution
Wheatus: Teenage Dirtbag
Nightwish: Over the Hill and Far Away
Tool: 46&2
Hurt: Wars
Gorillaz: Clint Eastwood
Kill Hannah: Lips Like Morphine
Rammstein: Das Model
Godsmack: Sick of Life
Submersed: Hollow
SoaD: IEAIEIO
All That Remains: Two Weeks
Elbow: Bones of You
Elbow: One Day of This
Elbow: Grounds for Divorce
White Stripes: Hardest Button to Button
White Stripes: Icky Thump
The food is delicious.
Tomorrow is my Public Speaking final. We have to give a "best man" speech, was going to annoy Lona with it and do it with her and some ill chosen guy. But then on my way to school this morning, it hit me what I could do.
Tomorrow, RJ is getting his wedding toast. It's an action I probably would be doing in some alternate universe where we all weren't pyros when we were younger, or he was more careful in his escapades in the service.
Ah, the Dandy Warhols just came on. The irony does not escape me.
Either way, that rat bastard is getting his toast, and it's going to be good.
A long time ago, we used to be friends, but I haven't thought of you lately at all,
Angel
The playlist for the past day has been as follows:
Poe: Could've Gone Mad
Enigma: Why
Kesha: Take It Off
65daysofstatic: Aren't We All Running?
65daysofstatic: Weak4
One Republic: Secrets
Coheed and Cambria: Black Rainbow
Poe: Not a Virgin Anymore
Rise Against: Hero of War
Poe: Wild
RHCP: Aeroplane
Jason Mraz: Plane
Anberlin: Feelgood Drag
Clint Black: Like the Rain
Groove Coverage: Moonlight Shadow
Without A Face: Baylor Squirrels
These New Puritans: Attack Music
Nightwatchman: One Man Revolution
Wheatus: Teenage Dirtbag
Nightwish: Over the Hill and Far Away
Tool: 46&2
Hurt: Wars
Gorillaz: Clint Eastwood
Kill Hannah: Lips Like Morphine
Rammstein: Das Model
Godsmack: Sick of Life
Submersed: Hollow
SoaD: IEAIEIO
All That Remains: Two Weeks
Elbow: Bones of You
Elbow: One Day of This
Elbow: Grounds for Divorce
White Stripes: Hardest Button to Button
White Stripes: Icky Thump
The food is delicious.
Tomorrow is my Public Speaking final. We have to give a "best man" speech, was going to annoy Lona with it and do it with her and some ill chosen guy. But then on my way to school this morning, it hit me what I could do.
Tomorrow, RJ is getting his wedding toast. It's an action I probably would be doing in some alternate universe where we all weren't pyros when we were younger, or he was more careful in his escapades in the service.
Ah, the Dandy Warhols just came on. The irony does not escape me.
Either way, that rat bastard is getting his toast, and it's going to be good.
A long time ago, we used to be friends, but I haven't thought of you lately at all,
Angel
The Super-Coffee Incident
My body has been doing these semi-convulsion things all night. Supercoffee is probably my dumbest idea ever; it was the bastard child of chemistry knowledge and idiocy.
I took water, and then dumped in an entire bottle of Instant Coffee Grounds. Now, this would have been stupid under normal circumstances, but I take stupidity and give it a thorough schooling. I boiled the water first, and not just boiled but boiled it at such a high temperature that the grounds became liquid upon contact with that water.
Let me make sure you caught that, I didn't even stir it. They just sizzled into the raging waters without any help at all, that's ridiculous, this proves my stove is awesome. Anyways, I did that with 45 cups worth of grounds. This made three 8 ounce glasses of what I have deemed Super Coffee. It's give or take one cup 15 cups of coffee condensed into one cup.
Without getting into too many details, the idea behind a supersaturation is as follows for those of you that skipped highschool chemistry:
A liquid can normally contain X amount of a solid being dissolved into it before it becomes saturated, saturated being the point at which no more solid can be dissolved into it.
Now, if you heat that solid, you will be able dissolve more solid into it. The more heat you add, the more solid you can add.
Instead of being able to add X solid into Y liquid, you can now add X^n solid for every Y liquid. It's a neat property of matter.
Now, my situation.
My liquid was so hot it was boiling over and liquifying my solid upon contact. That's really freaking hot. Hot enough that 85g of the solid were dissolved into it. Just under 2g are supposed to go in each cup of coffee. That was distributed among three cups, so 28g in each cup.
So yes, I made coffee that was 15 cups in 1.
I am the dumbest smart person on the planet.
Now, just for kicks and giggles, make a foundation with the Chinese Buffet I had for dinner, and we start to see a problem.
Now, for the first two hours, I was fine. In fact, I have never been more productive ever. I slammed that paper to the mats and pinned it so hard he thought it was fatal.
But that cup wasn't finished after two hours, in fact, I had barely touched it. So just to spite the starving children in Africa, I felt like it was necessary to drink all of it. So I did.
30 minutes later, both my nervous system and digestive systems revolted. I mean, it was a gorram coup, or a mutiny. I walked over to the bathroom, and then vomited 12 times in a row. I thought I was dying. It was probably the most disgusting thing to happen to me in a long time.
But ever since then, I've had these spasms. I believe this is what we call an overdose. I do hope I don't die, that would make it very inconvenient when I go to PT and my final tomorrow morning, I imagine I would be rather sluggish.
But you know what? That paper is AWESOME,
Angel
I took water, and then dumped in an entire bottle of Instant Coffee Grounds. Now, this would have been stupid under normal circumstances, but I take stupidity and give it a thorough schooling. I boiled the water first, and not just boiled but boiled it at such a high temperature that the grounds became liquid upon contact with that water.
Let me make sure you caught that, I didn't even stir it. They just sizzled into the raging waters without any help at all, that's ridiculous, this proves my stove is awesome. Anyways, I did that with 45 cups worth of grounds. This made three 8 ounce glasses of what I have deemed Super Coffee. It's give or take one cup 15 cups of coffee condensed into one cup.
Without getting into too many details, the idea behind a supersaturation is as follows for those of you that skipped highschool chemistry:
A liquid can normally contain X amount of a solid being dissolved into it before it becomes saturated, saturated being the point at which no more solid can be dissolved into it.
Now, if you heat that solid, you will be able dissolve more solid into it. The more heat you add, the more solid you can add.
Instead of being able to add X solid into Y liquid, you can now add X^n solid for every Y liquid. It's a neat property of matter.
Now, my situation.
My liquid was so hot it was boiling over and liquifying my solid upon contact. That's really freaking hot. Hot enough that 85g of the solid were dissolved into it. Just under 2g are supposed to go in each cup of coffee. That was distributed among three cups, so 28g in each cup.
So yes, I made coffee that was 15 cups in 1.
I am the dumbest smart person on the planet.
Now, just for kicks and giggles, make a foundation with the Chinese Buffet I had for dinner, and we start to see a problem.
Now, for the first two hours, I was fine. In fact, I have never been more productive ever. I slammed that paper to the mats and pinned it so hard he thought it was fatal.
But that cup wasn't finished after two hours, in fact, I had barely touched it. So just to spite the starving children in Africa, I felt like it was necessary to drink all of it. So I did.
30 minutes later, both my nervous system and digestive systems revolted. I mean, it was a gorram coup, or a mutiny. I walked over to the bathroom, and then vomited 12 times in a row. I thought I was dying. It was probably the most disgusting thing to happen to me in a long time.
But ever since then, I've had these spasms. I believe this is what we call an overdose. I do hope I don't die, that would make it very inconvenient when I go to PT and my final tomorrow morning, I imagine I would be rather sluggish.
But you know what? That paper is AWESOME,
Angel
20101207
Interlude 3
I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through
On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too
But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind
All the heaven's rivers come to light I see it all unwind
I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane
When I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through
On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too
But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind
All the heaven's rivers come to light I see it all unwind
I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane
When I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain
Entry 15
The Freshman is being stalked by her now ex-boyfriend. I think I've gotten her to persuade him to stay in wentzville for the time being, but since he also said this when it happened and then was reported to have had his car break down in columbia, we're not taking chances. She's living with a friend for a few days, and I'm supposed to get the instant report if anyone sees him on campus.
I've briefed her on what to do if he's seen, basically run and hide near people or authority figures until other friends, hopefully myself included, can get to her and get her to a safe place. He's a nice enough guy, but he's trained in martial arts and he apparently has a bit of a temper. Her friends can take care of her, we're using my apartment (the only place he doesn't know about for sure) as the safe house fail-safe. I hope it doesn't come to that though, I would like to just talk sense into him and get her to meet with him in a very controlled environment. But I'm not sure about how well that's going to work.
Will keep the blog updated on future events.
For now, he hasn't made it to town, and hopefully will keep his word and won't.
But I've made the necessary preparations in case he does, and gotten her up-to-date on the anti-stalking measures.
Oh the things my friends get into,
Angel
I've briefed her on what to do if he's seen, basically run and hide near people or authority figures until other friends, hopefully myself included, can get to her and get her to a safe place. He's a nice enough guy, but he's trained in martial arts and he apparently has a bit of a temper. Her friends can take care of her, we're using my apartment (the only place he doesn't know about for sure) as the safe house fail-safe. I hope it doesn't come to that though, I would like to just talk sense into him and get her to meet with him in a very controlled environment. But I'm not sure about how well that's going to work.
Will keep the blog updated on future events.
For now, he hasn't made it to town, and hopefully will keep his word and won't.
But I've made the necessary preparations in case he does, and gotten her up-to-date on the anti-stalking measures.
Oh the things my friends get into,
Angel
20101206
Entry 14.1
So, I was lied to? Final is actually being handed out thursday, and we have until the next friday to do it. It's a freaking take home test.
I spazzed for nothing.
Other news, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is awesome. (Jost, go ask the redhead in your hall about it. It was a great film.) A further review will be on its way, because none of you reading this will ever pick up the initiative to see it.
Lazy bums,
Angel
I spazzed for nothing.
Other news, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is awesome. (Jost, go ask the redhead in your hall about it. It was a great film.) A further review will be on its way, because none of you reading this will ever pick up the initiative to see it.
Lazy bums,
Angel
Interlude 2
Apparently my MilSci Final is in two hours, not two days. Time to go study like a crazed asian.
Entry 14
Ugh, feel terrible. Trying not to throw up. Think it's from bad sleep mixed with bad food, but it might actually be real sickness the way I've been all weekend, I've basically spent the whole time sitting in a bacteria pool by myself without much movement.
Tried sleeping last night but kept waking up every hour. Nauseated to an extreme, texted Hancock and told him I can't make it to PT. I'll have to make up the long run on my own. Feeellll terrible.
I get the reader's digest version of being sick: No symptoms until my immune system just gets overwhelmed, then BAM everything at once. The next 8-12 hours suck ass. Then after a maximum of 12 hours, I get up and everything is fine again.
It's abbreviated, but hits all of the highpoints with ferocity.
But until then X_X death.
Facebook was awesome last night in response to the change in profile. If you haven't already changed, I would advise against it, it's very cluttered so far. But you'll be forced to change soon anyway, so don't get too cocky.
Facebook users FLIPPED out though, and demanded it be changed back. I couldn't laugh hard enough. Like users for a free service could demand *cat knocked over bottle of cranberry juice, derailing train of thought* a change is said service because they don't like it the new way. Normally, that might have a chance of working, but face it, addicts don't have bargaining power. They've got you and they know it. "If they wanted to change the homepage to an old man defecating on himself, you'd all still use it," said one person last night, and the kid was right.
But more importantly is that the users don't have a single RIGHT to complain. We can't whine that we no longer get a specific service free, when the altered service still sit in front of us still free. It's stupid, that's like hating your free car when it's the best one on the market, and yet they changed the colour on your dashboard lights. Or having a top notch cellphone just handed to you for free and then saying that you don't like that it doesn't have a full keyboard. YOU DIDN'T PAY FOR IT, YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN. I can't explain that enough. *cat is attacking bedroom door with ferocity, interlude, cat has been moved from the room, which gets ice cold during the night, to the laundry room, which is the warmest in the apartment, he can shut his psychotic face this morning while I sleep this off* Until you pay for a service, that service is a monarchy, or rather, an aristocracy; you get no voice because you don't actually contribute. Deal with it.
OMG CAT, SHUT UP.
Time to die for a while,
Angel
Tried sleeping last night but kept waking up every hour. Nauseated to an extreme, texted Hancock and told him I can't make it to PT. I'll have to make up the long run on my own. Feeellll terrible.
I get the reader's digest version of being sick: No symptoms until my immune system just gets overwhelmed, then BAM everything at once. The next 8-12 hours suck ass. Then after a maximum of 12 hours, I get up and everything is fine again.
It's abbreviated, but hits all of the highpoints with ferocity.
But until then X_X death.
Facebook was awesome last night in response to the change in profile. If you haven't already changed, I would advise against it, it's very cluttered so far. But you'll be forced to change soon anyway, so don't get too cocky.
Facebook users FLIPPED out though, and demanded it be changed back. I couldn't laugh hard enough. Like users for a free service could demand *cat knocked over bottle of cranberry juice, derailing train of thought* a change is said service because they don't like it the new way. Normally, that might have a chance of working, but face it, addicts don't have bargaining power. They've got you and they know it. "If they wanted to change the homepage to an old man defecating on himself, you'd all still use it," said one person last night, and the kid was right.
But more importantly is that the users don't have a single RIGHT to complain. We can't whine that we no longer get a specific service free, when the altered service still sit in front of us still free. It's stupid, that's like hating your free car when it's the best one on the market, and yet they changed the colour on your dashboard lights. Or having a top notch cellphone just handed to you for free and then saying that you don't like that it doesn't have a full keyboard. YOU DIDN'T PAY FOR IT, YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN. I can't explain that enough. *cat is attacking bedroom door with ferocity, interlude, cat has been moved from the room, which gets ice cold during the night, to the laundry room, which is the warmest in the apartment, he can shut his psychotic face this morning while I sleep this off* Until you pay for a service, that service is a monarchy, or rather, an aristocracy; you get no voice because you don't actually contribute. Deal with it.
OMG CAT, SHUT UP.
Time to die for a while,
Angel
20101205
Side Note
Well, at least I can now admit it to myself.
Insanity is incredibly attractive in a person to me.
As long as I'm not going to be killed in my sleep, or the person also has a gun collection, I'm pretty sure I would date any girl on earth as long as someone told me first "She's completely psychotic."
It keeps thing interesting, it makes them unique and fun and keeps me on my toes.
Being insane or crazy or psychotic is really attractive.
One day, this feature may get me killed. C'est la vie.
Insanity is incredibly attractive in a person to me.
As long as I'm not going to be killed in my sleep, or the person also has a gun collection, I'm pretty sure I would date any girl on earth as long as someone told me first "She's completely psychotic."
It keeps thing interesting, it makes them unique and fun and keeps me on my toes.
Being insane or crazy or psychotic is really attractive.
One day, this feature may get me killed. C'est la vie.
Entry 13
Ah yes, the art of turning a human being into a profile. I haven't gotten to do this since highschool. I really should find my 200+ personnel files on that old computer. It would be quite amusing to see what I had written down about the entire class and a bunch of prominent under and upper classmen.
But for now, I will continue to dissect the person that is GH until I can accurately decide whether or not Megan is going to be ok.
I believe I have decided why I like the army: It is the only place in the world where the phrase "If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough," is actually applied.
Orson Scott Card put out another book. Of course I just purchased it and will devour it in the next few moments.
The best restaurant in town is actually one of the worst. The chinese buffet place by the music store on the far side of town is probably the worst place I've ever eaten. The food is mediocre, the selection is pathetic, there are Korean babies running around everywhere and the service is at best below average. But it's the best place in the world, because even at its peak hours, you are likely to be the only one there. If I ever worked in the mafia or needed a quiet place to do deals, I would do them out in the open at that buffet, because it's the most calm and collected location in town.
But for now, I will continue to dissect the person that is GH until I can accurately decide whether or not Megan is going to be ok.
I believe I have decided why I like the army: It is the only place in the world where the phrase "If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough," is actually applied.
Orson Scott Card put out another book. Of course I just purchased it and will devour it in the next few moments.
The best restaurant in town is actually one of the worst. The chinese buffet place by the music store on the far side of town is probably the worst place I've ever eaten. The food is mediocre, the selection is pathetic, there are Korean babies running around everywhere and the service is at best below average. But it's the best place in the world, because even at its peak hours, you are likely to be the only one there. If I ever worked in the mafia or needed a quiet place to do deals, I would do them out in the open at that buffet, because it's the most calm and collected location in town.
20101204
Series of Unfortunate Events
Bouts of intense anger and darn near homicidal tendencies do not work well with a cat living here. It's going to get put in the dryer soon if it doesn't stop and heed my slightly above normal physical warnings.
They said I sounded like a serial killer while dealing cards once tonight. I remember this now. It amuses, yet concerns.
They said I sounded like a serial killer while dealing cards once tonight. I remember this now. It amuses, yet concerns.
Entry 12.1
Poker. I just played poker with LO and her physics friends. I can't remember anything about it though. I lost, I remember that. Was I a good person? I don't know. I hate my memory. I can't remember a damn thing.
"I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, "
I bailed on her afterward though. She asked me back for something. A movie? And I declined, probably made up an excuse.
I'm going to stab my brain, this is annoying as shit. It happens now and then, tonight is bad though, I just can't think.
So she's probably back at her dorm room confused and odded by my behaviour, as she should be since I'm not being assertive.
"Could've been a night like any other
One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it gets easy
You can't keep safe what wants to break "
I'm going to go to bed. I've got nothing really to say.
"I'm alone in this. I'm an ass."
"I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, "
I bailed on her afterward though. She asked me back for something. A movie? And I declined, probably made up an excuse.
I'm going to stab my brain, this is annoying as shit. It happens now and then, tonight is bad though, I just can't think.
So she's probably back at her dorm room confused and odded by my behaviour, as she should be since I'm not being assertive.
"Could've been a night like any other
One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it gets easy
You can't keep safe what wants to break "
I'm going to go to bed. I've got nothing really to say.
"I'm alone in this. I'm an ass."
Entry 12
I hate people. I hate stupid people. I hate smart people. I hate non-religious, and religious, spiritually inclined, agnostic, atheist people. I hate mathematicians, and chemists, preachers, pastors, physicists, logisticians, geologists and priests. I hate warmongers and hippies. I hate the good and the pure and the tainted and the evil. I hate the dark and the light. I hate cute little furballs and ugly old rats. I hate the attractive, I hate the disgusting. I hate the clever and the dull. I hate the happy and the sad.
It's hard to explain exactly how much I hate all of you, because you all have the same flaw. And I hate every single person alive for it.
I hope there's a God, and I hope he damns every single one of us for it. I would rip out my own eyes and boil my entire body in exchange for knowing that every single person who is alive, who has ever been alive and who ever will be alive is going through their own personal torture at their end.
May you all burn in hell forever,
Angel
It's hard to explain exactly how much I hate all of you, because you all have the same flaw. And I hate every single person alive for it.
I hope there's a God, and I hope he damns every single one of us for it. I would rip out my own eyes and boil my entire body in exchange for knowing that every single person who is alive, who has ever been alive and who ever will be alive is going through their own personal torture at their end.
May you all burn in hell forever,
Angel
20101203
IT'S SO PERFECT
Oh my dear and holy flying death cat. I OWN ORPHEN NOW. I can die fucking happy. I can't express how ... just..... AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S SOOO GOOD.
I had heard that the complete collection was released in japan a few years back. But they said it would never be on our shores.
It is.
And it's in English.
This is the single best show ever. Period. Ever. The end.
It's dark, it's hopeful, it's cheesy and it's dignified. The story telling, it's brilliant. The dialogue? Realistic. Characters? Holy crap, Orphen was/is my childhood/adult idol. Magic, the kid is the perfect understudy. Cleo is the epitome of the damsel-in-no-distress.
OMG, he's "bird watching" now. I'm going to cry.
It's funny, it's powerful, it's dorky and it's cool.
The animation is borderline hand drawn and old school.
Even the music is perfect.
Hollllly craaaaap.
It's sooo goood.
The opening scene puts all teenage romance shows/movies to shame. Makes twilight and city of bones look like fourth graders tried to write about sexiness, or beauty, or ominous power and mystery.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUT4drcJBX8&feature=related
See 1:30-3:00
IIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS PEEEEEEEEEERFFFFEEEEEEECTTTT
I had heard that the complete collection was released in japan a few years back. But they said it would never be on our shores.
It is.
And it's in English.
This is the single best show ever. Period. Ever. The end.
It's dark, it's hopeful, it's cheesy and it's dignified. The story telling, it's brilliant. The dialogue? Realistic. Characters? Holy crap, Orphen was/is my childhood/adult idol. Magic, the kid is the perfect understudy. Cleo is the epitome of the damsel-in-no-distress.
OMG, he's "bird watching" now. I'm going to cry.
It's funny, it's powerful, it's dorky and it's cool.
The animation is borderline hand drawn and old school.
Even the music is perfect.
Hollllly craaaaap.
It's sooo goood.
The opening scene puts all teenage romance shows/movies to shame. Makes twilight and city of bones look like fourth graders tried to write about sexiness, or beauty, or ominous power and mystery.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUT4drcJBX8&feature=related
See 1:30-3:00
IIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS PEEEEEEEEEERFFFFEEEEEEECTTTT
Entry 11
Fixed the internets! Woot!
Had a series of chess games with LO again. She won close to handily, but was much trickier with revealed attacks this time. I was actually up in pieces during game two, but ended up losing due to bad positioning. Then some poor chap decided to try his hand real quick, she disposed of him without looking at the board for most it it. But I can tell I'm a distraction for her, which I guess is a good sign for me?
At one point she tried to act all suave and made a particularly strong move, so she leaned back in her to chat while the other guy freaked out but instead of being smooth about it, she ended up smacking her head on the wall. I laughed, and so did she, so it worked out.
While we were playing, I kept getting sidetracked by the conversations around us, specifically the very "high thought" English discussion going on behind me. I tried to not laugh as this teacher insisted on free-composing a poem on snow because Kirksville "just makes one dreary and need composition to keep the heart aloof." THIS is why I'm not an English major, because you can't have a single teacher that wasn't dosed out on acid for years at a time. I actually had to correct him on the town's landscape though, and to direct him to Reinhart's and the WTB store. Annoying chap.
No DnD tonight, but I walked with the girl back to her room, saw where she lived etc. She actually invited me to come in and watch MASH with her for a bit, but I declined. I do have stuff to do, but I was more nervous than anything. We talked for a bit longer and then I departed back here and fixed the internet.
And as nice as the whole thing is, I'm not sure I want it because of her, or because I want someone. And if it's the latter, eventually it's going to wear off and she's going to end up hurt. So I'm both nervous because, well, she's a girl and because I don't want to start this if it isn't right.
Much to think about,
Angel
Had a series of chess games with LO again. She won close to handily, but was much trickier with revealed attacks this time. I was actually up in pieces during game two, but ended up losing due to bad positioning. Then some poor chap decided to try his hand real quick, she disposed of him without looking at the board for most it it. But I can tell I'm a distraction for her, which I guess is a good sign for me?
At one point she tried to act all suave and made a particularly strong move, so she leaned back in her to chat while the other guy freaked out but instead of being smooth about it, she ended up smacking her head on the wall. I laughed, and so did she, so it worked out.
While we were playing, I kept getting sidetracked by the conversations around us, specifically the very "high thought" English discussion going on behind me. I tried to not laugh as this teacher insisted on free-composing a poem on snow because Kirksville "just makes one dreary and need composition to keep the heart aloof." THIS is why I'm not an English major, because you can't have a single teacher that wasn't dosed out on acid for years at a time. I actually had to correct him on the town's landscape though, and to direct him to Reinhart's and the WTB store. Annoying chap.
No DnD tonight, but I walked with the girl back to her room, saw where she lived etc. She actually invited me to come in and watch MASH with her for a bit, but I declined. I do have stuff to do, but I was more nervous than anything. We talked for a bit longer and then I departed back here and fixed the internet.
And as nice as the whole thing is, I'm not sure I want it because of her, or because I want someone. And if it's the latter, eventually it's going to wear off and she's going to end up hurt. So I'm both nervous because, well, she's a girl and because I don't want to start this if it isn't right.
Much to think about,
Angel
20101202
Entry 10
Today has been insane, but I only have ten minutes before McDonald's closes, so welcome to the abbreviated version of Angel's last two days.
Noticed I talk to cindy far too much, and in a way others have noted to be flirty. This is not intentional and has to be stopped. No wedges. I miss her as someone to lie with and someone that I enjoyed taking care of, but nothing more. Will have to readjust the brain tonight during meditation to fix that.
Lona and I just had it out. She's out-of-her-goddamn-mind stupid when it comes to boys and she's hurt a few this year already by leading them along and then cutting it off in the most asinine ways. People are being hurt, this is my business. She is not happy with that, nor with me telling her she's in the wrong. I'm taking three days off from contact with that group outside of alex, because he's the only one I'm sure wont go running to her with whatever I say. After three days, we'll see how everything is looking.
ROTC is amazing, period. Swim test tomorrow, it's so easy I want to laugh. Actually miss having the SFC around, and almost want to hate myself for it hah.
Schroedinger has been acting... not himself recently. I'm not sure what the other cats did to him over the weekend, but he's not biting, not clawing, not chasing things, not doing anything remotely... Shro like. I'm actually worried that something happened, asked Sam, but it's late for her and I'm not sure she'll be awake.
Econ's over, History is over. Just have Speech, Myth and MilSci finals to deal with next week.
Hope the story made sense to those that I wrote it for. It's not an insult, but a brief explanation. Hope you took it that way.
I've eaten 10 McNuggets, a coffee, three sodas, two bowls of soup, a bowl of greenbeans, 16 slices of pizza, 22 breadsticks, eggs and cranberry juice today. I hate my body for being so expensive.
Had the Maj refer to me as "the most quickly advanced cadet" he's ever seen. Basically my change between day 1 this fall and now in his eyes. But it's funny, I didn't change at all, I just learned how this system's supposed to work, and have adapted to use it. I guess that's how I "grow" because I haven't actually changed in three years, at all.
I'm going to beat the next guy who says that he has a "plan" for "winning" a girl. Seriously. You shouldn't have a plan, you shouldn't be winning. Be your freaking self, so when you do start dating, nothing changes. The girl wants to date you, don't lie about who you are. This goes the opposite way though too. As a guy, I want to date a girl for who she is, not who she tries to act like. It's too easy to see through that with girls, maybe it's the same for guys. But from personal experience, I can attest that if I'm interested in you, I'm interested in you. Not your clothes, definitely not your make up, or your friends, or anything else. I'm interested in you, don't change yourself.
But as tonight is going, this will all likely fall on deaf ears. I'm not sure if there are other kinds.
Briefing over,
~Angel
Noticed I talk to cindy far too much, and in a way others have noted to be flirty. This is not intentional and has to be stopped. No wedges. I miss her as someone to lie with and someone that I enjoyed taking care of, but nothing more. Will have to readjust the brain tonight during meditation to fix that.
Lona and I just had it out. She's out-of-her-goddamn-mind stupid when it comes to boys and she's hurt a few this year already by leading them along and then cutting it off in the most asinine ways. People are being hurt, this is my business. She is not happy with that, nor with me telling her she's in the wrong. I'm taking three days off from contact with that group outside of alex, because he's the only one I'm sure wont go running to her with whatever I say. After three days, we'll see how everything is looking.
ROTC is amazing, period. Swim test tomorrow, it's so easy I want to laugh. Actually miss having the SFC around, and almost want to hate myself for it hah.
Schroedinger has been acting... not himself recently. I'm not sure what the other cats did to him over the weekend, but he's not biting, not clawing, not chasing things, not doing anything remotely... Shro like. I'm actually worried that something happened, asked Sam, but it's late for her and I'm not sure she'll be awake.
Econ's over, History is over. Just have Speech, Myth and MilSci finals to deal with next week.
Hope the story made sense to those that I wrote it for. It's not an insult, but a brief explanation. Hope you took it that way.
I've eaten 10 McNuggets, a coffee, three sodas, two bowls of soup, a bowl of greenbeans, 16 slices of pizza, 22 breadsticks, eggs and cranberry juice today. I hate my body for being so expensive.
Had the Maj refer to me as "the most quickly advanced cadet" he's ever seen. Basically my change between day 1 this fall and now in his eyes. But it's funny, I didn't change at all, I just learned how this system's supposed to work, and have adapted to use it. I guess that's how I "grow" because I haven't actually changed in three years, at all.
I'm going to beat the next guy who says that he has a "plan" for "winning" a girl. Seriously. You shouldn't have a plan, you shouldn't be winning. Be your freaking self, so when you do start dating, nothing changes. The girl wants to date you, don't lie about who you are. This goes the opposite way though too. As a guy, I want to date a girl for who she is, not who she tries to act like. It's too easy to see through that with girls, maybe it's the same for guys. But from personal experience, I can attest that if I'm interested in you, I'm interested in you. Not your clothes, definitely not your make up, or your friends, or anything else. I'm interested in you, don't change yourself.
But as tonight is going, this will all likely fall on deaf ears. I'm not sure if there are other kinds.
Briefing over,
~Angel
20101201
Story Time Part 2
Now Angel was in highschool. He was in religion classes where teachers talked about the history of the Bible, and it was pretty cool. He found a group of friends that were friends before they got to highschool, but they accepted Angel. But Angel was never really part of that group, they had all grown up together, and therefor were friends, Angel always felt like he was missing something when he was around them. He definitely couldn't go back to his "friends" from grade school, he had tried so hard to make it this far and away from them, but he was just an outsider with the other people he was with.
This trend would continue for a long time.
The whole time, he started having harder questions about the Bible that he couldn't find answers to himself, so he started asking teachers. But those teachers didn't have the answers, so they sent him to the pastor at the school, but that pastor didn't have answers either, so he told Angel to pray about it.
Angel had never gotten an answer through prayer, so he hated being told that, but he tried it anyways. Every night before falling asleep he would try and talk to God, but he never heard anything back, and that hurt him. Why was it ok for everyone else to get answers from other people, or from the Bible, or from prayer, but never him? Did he do something wrong? Was he hurting someone? Was that why God was mad and didn't answer him?
His only friend from gradeschool was named Torie. Angel had liked Torie during gradeschool but after telling Cameron, Cameron decided he liked her more, and they started being boyfriend and girlfriend all through eighth grade. There were times when the three of them would be riding to Junior Winds together in the back seat of the car and Cameron and Torie would start kissing, and Cameron would put his hands up Torie's shirt while Angel sat next to them and stared out the window and tried to ignore them.
Then in highschool, they broke up, and Torie started dating a boy from another school. She would ask Angel for advice on him and ask him questions about what boys like. She would then start telling Angel stories about how they would make-out in the back seat of his car, and he had started licking her down-there, and how it felt so amazing. She would call him or message him after every date and tell him all the details. This whole time, Angel like Torie, and being told this stuff made him hurt inside.
He tried to find answers to this pain in the Bible, there were none. But one time, he was flipping through the pages in Job, trying to explain why he was crying, and he got a papercut. It was only a paper cut, but for a moment, he wasn't sad, and crying, he was just angry. So he gave himself another one, and another one. Soon, that page in Job was almost entirely red.
This idea worked too well. Every time Torie would start talking to him about the new thing she had tried with the other boy, he would just take a knife, or a pen or scissors and just make a little cut on his arm. Then while they were talking, he would just agitate it and cause a sting.
This went on until the end of Sophomore year, when Angel asked out a girl himself. Now Torie had told him how much it had hurt to have things go so far with a boy, and then be left alone. So Angel took things very slow with this girl. But soon they were going to Youth Group together, and Angel started to learn more and more things about the history of the Bible and his faith and everything else and in some cases, the Bible was just wrong, or silly, or downright stupid. But he ignored those issues, because he liked the girl and her faith, and he was happy living exactly how he was.
But the questions were still there, unanswerable by everyone, and they were important questions. They festered in his mind. They were a cancer to his faith. What he had always been told was that the Bible had all the answers, but it was turning out that it didn't. He was told that the questions he had were the ones that would never have an answer. They were things that he just had to ignore, otherwise they would drive him insane and make him lose his faith, the foundation of his life.
And they did. He went crazy. Now he wasn't talking to Torie, because his girlfriend had hated that they hung out and were friends, because she was "that" kind of girl. Christianity was the last piece of his childhood left to him, and that was falling out from under him when the questions became too unbearable to just ignore. So everytime he started to think about it, he would just take out his pocketknife and prick himself, just enough to bleed and hurt. His eyes would roll back in his head, and he would be entirely lost in the pain, unable to focus on what was bothering him before. It was bliss.
But eventually, even that wasn't working anymore. One night while the rest of the family was out, Angel was crying on the floor, yelling at heaven. But he realized that he no longer knew who he was yelling at. People were supposed to act like Jesus, but they never did, not for long. People were selfish, people lied, people hurt each other. Christians raped other people, they killed other people, had wars and blamed them on God. The Bible was supposed to have all the answers, but it didn't. There were so many questions that would never have answers, he would always just be told "God works in mysterious ways," he heard that so much that the phrase now simply made him angry. The Bible was supposed to always be right, and it wasn't. There were countless times when he picked up a Bible, especially the old Bibles, in which some stuff was soo crazy, he couldn't believe anyone ever believed it was true. With all of these things weighing down on him, he gave up trying to just fake it anymore.
So he shouted, he cried, every night before bed since then, he asked whomever was listening for a sign, for simple faith, or anything.
It's never come.
This trend would continue for a long time.
The whole time, he started having harder questions about the Bible that he couldn't find answers to himself, so he started asking teachers. But those teachers didn't have the answers, so they sent him to the pastor at the school, but that pastor didn't have answers either, so he told Angel to pray about it.
Angel had never gotten an answer through prayer, so he hated being told that, but he tried it anyways. Every night before falling asleep he would try and talk to God, but he never heard anything back, and that hurt him. Why was it ok for everyone else to get answers from other people, or from the Bible, or from prayer, but never him? Did he do something wrong? Was he hurting someone? Was that why God was mad and didn't answer him?
His only friend from gradeschool was named Torie. Angel had liked Torie during gradeschool but after telling Cameron, Cameron decided he liked her more, and they started being boyfriend and girlfriend all through eighth grade. There were times when the three of them would be riding to Junior Winds together in the back seat of the car and Cameron and Torie would start kissing, and Cameron would put his hands up Torie's shirt while Angel sat next to them and stared out the window and tried to ignore them.
Then in highschool, they broke up, and Torie started dating a boy from another school. She would ask Angel for advice on him and ask him questions about what boys like. She would then start telling Angel stories about how they would make-out in the back seat of his car, and he had started licking her down-there, and how it felt so amazing. She would call him or message him after every date and tell him all the details. This whole time, Angel like Torie, and being told this stuff made him hurt inside.
He tried to find answers to this pain in the Bible, there were none. But one time, he was flipping through the pages in Job, trying to explain why he was crying, and he got a papercut. It was only a paper cut, but for a moment, he wasn't sad, and crying, he was just angry. So he gave himself another one, and another one. Soon, that page in Job was almost entirely red.
This idea worked too well. Every time Torie would start talking to him about the new thing she had tried with the other boy, he would just take a knife, or a pen or scissors and just make a little cut on his arm. Then while they were talking, he would just agitate it and cause a sting.
This went on until the end of Sophomore year, when Angel asked out a girl himself. Now Torie had told him how much it had hurt to have things go so far with a boy, and then be left alone. So Angel took things very slow with this girl. But soon they were going to Youth Group together, and Angel started to learn more and more things about the history of the Bible and his faith and everything else and in some cases, the Bible was just wrong, or silly, or downright stupid. But he ignored those issues, because he liked the girl and her faith, and he was happy living exactly how he was.
But the questions were still there, unanswerable by everyone, and they were important questions. They festered in his mind. They were a cancer to his faith. What he had always been told was that the Bible had all the answers, but it was turning out that it didn't. He was told that the questions he had were the ones that would never have an answer. They were things that he just had to ignore, otherwise they would drive him insane and make him lose his faith, the foundation of his life.
And they did. He went crazy. Now he wasn't talking to Torie, because his girlfriend had hated that they hung out and were friends, because she was "that" kind of girl. Christianity was the last piece of his childhood left to him, and that was falling out from under him when the questions became too unbearable to just ignore. So everytime he started to think about it, he would just take out his pocketknife and prick himself, just enough to bleed and hurt. His eyes would roll back in his head, and he would be entirely lost in the pain, unable to focus on what was bothering him before. It was bliss.
But eventually, even that wasn't working anymore. One night while the rest of the family was out, Angel was crying on the floor, yelling at heaven. But he realized that he no longer knew who he was yelling at. People were supposed to act like Jesus, but they never did, not for long. People were selfish, people lied, people hurt each other. Christians raped other people, they killed other people, had wars and blamed them on God. The Bible was supposed to have all the answers, but it didn't. There were so many questions that would never have answers, he would always just be told "God works in mysterious ways," he heard that so much that the phrase now simply made him angry. The Bible was supposed to always be right, and it wasn't. There were countless times when he picked up a Bible, especially the old Bibles, in which some stuff was soo crazy, he couldn't believe anyone ever believed it was true. With all of these things weighing down on him, he gave up trying to just fake it anymore.
So he shouted, he cried, every night before bed since then, he asked whomever was listening for a sign, for simple faith, or anything.
It's never come.
Story Time Part 1
It's story time.
Our story begins about the age of four when said child begins to comprehend why he's in that old building every Sunday and pinched to be quiet when he asks questions. That child, let's call him Angel, and that religion, let's call it Christianity, they seem to work well together. There are certain things that he's started to wonder, and questions he always felt too stupid to ask. The old guy up on the pedestal seems to have all the answers, it's pretty cool. See, there's this God fellow, and he wants everyone to do the right thing. And then there's this Jesus guy, and he just wants everyone to be his friend in heaven, which is basically like Six Flags plus the White House but better. So the two come to an agreement, and if you want to be Jesus' friend in heaven, you get to go there, but if you don't, you don't. At this point Angel can't even conceive of anything too bad, so you just don't get to go to that place with that cool guy. That's a shame. But all in all, it's a pretty good deal. So he tells his mom, "That's silly" when the old man talks about people who don't want to be friends with Jesus, "Who wouldn't want to go to Six Flags?" His mother, quite agitated by this random comment, pinches his ear "Would you be quiet?"
Now part of what was cool about Jesus, was that everyone was supposed to act like him and it seemed like everything would be pretty awesome if they did. No one would hate each other, everyone would be friends, and even if you were annoying, you would be accepted. He then found out basically EVERYONE he knew was already pals with Jesus, talk about late to the party. So he tried his best to act like Jesus (well, except to his little sister, but that's because little sisters are always the exception. They're like your ugly cat, it's alright for you to make fun of it and hit it with beanie babies, but if anyone else does you get to tackle them and make them tell the cat they're sorry.) And it seemed pretty nice, the big people liked him, and the other kids seemed to like how he was acting.
Fast forward to first grade. By first grade, everyone was starting to become different. Kyle, Angel's best friend, was now four and a half feet tall! He was a giant! Ken was starting to get fat, but not as fat as Kevin, who was 140 lbs. Then there was Cameron, who could talk up a storm and was the only other person besides Angel and Adam that could do addition. Adam was cool, he always knew what was going on and never had to try, he and Angel got along well. And it was awesome, because everyone was already friends with Jesus too. They all went to the same church and the same sunday school classes and everyone knew that you were supposed to be nice like Jesus, like mom and dad, like teachers.
Well, sure mom and dad would send Angel to his room now and then for things like not eating all the food he was given, or when he talked during The Simpsons, or when he didn't want to go outside and play with the neighbors. But that's what parents do, they get to break the rules a bit in order to make sure you're safe.
But then no one at school tried to act like Jesus. Everyone would always be talking about how Tyler couldn't read, or how Adam's mom didn't live at home, or how Cameron had a funny face; everyone would laugh and point and push them around when it came up. Angel had never heard about Jesus acting like this, so he asked his teacher during recess one day, "Teacher, did Jesus ever make fun of anyone for having a pigs nose?"
"Angel," teacher replied, "that's a silly question. You know you're not supposed to ask silly questions." So Angel, still not knowing the answer, ran back to his friends on the swings. But his friends were mad at him, called him an apple boy, and threw him off the swings and buried him under the gravel, because they were big and he was small.
Another time, he was just standing in line for the bathroom stall just after religion class. One of the younger boys walked out of it when Angel felt a shove and fell into the stall. Ken and Kyle both took him and put his head in the yellow water. "Stop making us look stupid," one growled. "Stop answering questions," said the other, "you're making teacher hate us." Tears and spit had made the water almost clear again by the time they stopped. Angel sat in the bathroom and cried until he couldn't cry anymore, then he dried himself off and went back in the classroom. And it was weird! No one looked at him funny, or mad, like he guessed they would. They all smiled and talked like nothing happened and Angel was confused.
Jump to third grade, by this time, Angel was used to being the odd one out. Every day they had a religion class, and learned that Christians act like Jesus, because that's what being Christian means, being a little Christ. But he couldn't ever understand why the teacher would yell at them for doing things that they were never told not to do. Neither could he understand why the other kids always acted like the bad people in the Bible. Last year, one of the teachers had said that all the answers to the questions he had were in the Bible, so he started reading it. By third grade, he had read most of the old testament, and the other kids would do things like the bad people in there, but no one would punish them for it.
One time Tyler shoved another girl down in recess and made her bleed. Angel ran over and tried to help her up but the teacher pulled him off of her and started yelling at her. "But it was Kyle!" Angel protested.
So everyone was taken inside and Tyler and Lauren and Angel were all taken to the principal's office. On the way, Tyler told both of them "If you snitch, then everyone will hate you and they'll beat you up." So when they stood in front of the Principal and Lauren was asked who pushed her down, she looked at the two boys. She looked over at Tyler, and then something made her point at Angel. "He did it," she said and then started crying and ran back to the room.
Angel had to stand at the wall and watch the other kids play for a week. Only one day of recess for hurting Lauren but then the rest for "lying." Before going back to the room, Angel went to the bathroom and cried. He asked God why he was being hurt for telling the truth, and why Tyler wasn't in trouble, when all Angel wanted to do was help. He never got that answer, but all answers are found in the Bible, so he kept reading.
By fifth grade, Angel was a trouble kid. Classes were never a problem, and there wasn't a homework assignment that he couldn't finish in class. He read the Bible, and other books, every day. He knew a lot of things, and the teacher would sometimes get them wrong. "Teacher, that's wrong," he told her one day while talking about planets, "you can't land on Saturn's Rings, they're not really there, they're just rocks. You can land on the rocks though, and that would be cool. But the rings aren't really rings." Because that's what you do when people are wrong, you help them be right, because that's what he was always taught in class and read about in his books. But Teacher didn't like being contradicted, so she sent him to the principal's office for back-talking. This was the first detention Angel got.
On Sunday, in Sunday School, Angel thought, "I can't believe some people don't believe in Jesus. Why wouldn't they want to?"
Jump forward to eighth grade, and Angel had read the whole Bible a few times now. He knew all the stories and all the best verses. He had the highest grades on all his tests. They took a test from the government, and it even made a college offer to teach him extra during the summer, but his parents said no because they didn't want their kid to be 'one of those kids.' He got bunches of detentions, and every time he did, he sat afterschool and read. It wasn't a bad deal.
Then over the trip, Angel hit one of the other kids with a pencil, and the kid's mom, their Sunday School Teacher, took Angel aside and said, "If you ever touch my son again, I'll kill you. I will hunt you down, and kill you on your doorstep." Angel told his dad who was on the trip, and he just laughed and said "That lady is crazy."
And every time he had questions about the Bible, he was told "the answers are in there." So he sat in church every Sunday and read the bible, but then he started getting yelled at for not paying attention to Pastor. Some of the things Pastor said weren't in the Bible though, so Angel realized he had two choices, Stop listening to Pastor when he was talking about things that weren't in the Bible or believe that there were things God wanted for them that weren't in the Bible. By the end of eighth grade, he decided to stop listening to Pastor.
When he stood up and was confirmed in front of the church, he knew he was lying to them by saying some of the things they wanted him to say, but he said it anyways because it made them happy.
~To be continued.
Our story begins about the age of four when said child begins to comprehend why he's in that old building every Sunday and pinched to be quiet when he asks questions. That child, let's call him Angel, and that religion, let's call it Christianity, they seem to work well together. There are certain things that he's started to wonder, and questions he always felt too stupid to ask. The old guy up on the pedestal seems to have all the answers, it's pretty cool. See, there's this God fellow, and he wants everyone to do the right thing. And then there's this Jesus guy, and he just wants everyone to be his friend in heaven, which is basically like Six Flags plus the White House but better. So the two come to an agreement, and if you want to be Jesus' friend in heaven, you get to go there, but if you don't, you don't. At this point Angel can't even conceive of anything too bad, so you just don't get to go to that place with that cool guy. That's a shame. But all in all, it's a pretty good deal. So he tells his mom, "That's silly" when the old man talks about people who don't want to be friends with Jesus, "Who wouldn't want to go to Six Flags?" His mother, quite agitated by this random comment, pinches his ear "Would you be quiet?"
Now part of what was cool about Jesus, was that everyone was supposed to act like him and it seemed like everything would be pretty awesome if they did. No one would hate each other, everyone would be friends, and even if you were annoying, you would be accepted. He then found out basically EVERYONE he knew was already pals with Jesus, talk about late to the party. So he tried his best to act like Jesus (well, except to his little sister, but that's because little sisters are always the exception. They're like your ugly cat, it's alright for you to make fun of it and hit it with beanie babies, but if anyone else does you get to tackle them and make them tell the cat they're sorry.) And it seemed pretty nice, the big people liked him, and the other kids seemed to like how he was acting.
Fast forward to first grade. By first grade, everyone was starting to become different. Kyle, Angel's best friend, was now four and a half feet tall! He was a giant! Ken was starting to get fat, but not as fat as Kevin, who was 140 lbs. Then there was Cameron, who could talk up a storm and was the only other person besides Angel and Adam that could do addition. Adam was cool, he always knew what was going on and never had to try, he and Angel got along well. And it was awesome, because everyone was already friends with Jesus too. They all went to the same church and the same sunday school classes and everyone knew that you were supposed to be nice like Jesus, like mom and dad, like teachers.
Well, sure mom and dad would send Angel to his room now and then for things like not eating all the food he was given, or when he talked during The Simpsons, or when he didn't want to go outside and play with the neighbors. But that's what parents do, they get to break the rules a bit in order to make sure you're safe.
But then no one at school tried to act like Jesus. Everyone would always be talking about how Tyler couldn't read, or how Adam's mom didn't live at home, or how Cameron had a funny face; everyone would laugh and point and push them around when it came up. Angel had never heard about Jesus acting like this, so he asked his teacher during recess one day, "Teacher, did Jesus ever make fun of anyone for having a pigs nose?"
"Angel," teacher replied, "that's a silly question. You know you're not supposed to ask silly questions." So Angel, still not knowing the answer, ran back to his friends on the swings. But his friends were mad at him, called him an apple boy, and threw him off the swings and buried him under the gravel, because they were big and he was small.
Another time, he was just standing in line for the bathroom stall just after religion class. One of the younger boys walked out of it when Angel felt a shove and fell into the stall. Ken and Kyle both took him and put his head in the yellow water. "Stop making us look stupid," one growled. "Stop answering questions," said the other, "you're making teacher hate us." Tears and spit had made the water almost clear again by the time they stopped. Angel sat in the bathroom and cried until he couldn't cry anymore, then he dried himself off and went back in the classroom. And it was weird! No one looked at him funny, or mad, like he guessed they would. They all smiled and talked like nothing happened and Angel was confused.
Jump to third grade, by this time, Angel was used to being the odd one out. Every day they had a religion class, and learned that Christians act like Jesus, because that's what being Christian means, being a little Christ. But he couldn't ever understand why the teacher would yell at them for doing things that they were never told not to do. Neither could he understand why the other kids always acted like the bad people in the Bible. Last year, one of the teachers had said that all the answers to the questions he had were in the Bible, so he started reading it. By third grade, he had read most of the old testament, and the other kids would do things like the bad people in there, but no one would punish them for it.
One time Tyler shoved another girl down in recess and made her bleed. Angel ran over and tried to help her up but the teacher pulled him off of her and started yelling at her. "But it was Kyle!" Angel protested.
So everyone was taken inside and Tyler and Lauren and Angel were all taken to the principal's office. On the way, Tyler told both of them "If you snitch, then everyone will hate you and they'll beat you up." So when they stood in front of the Principal and Lauren was asked who pushed her down, she looked at the two boys. She looked over at Tyler, and then something made her point at Angel. "He did it," she said and then started crying and ran back to the room.
Angel had to stand at the wall and watch the other kids play for a week. Only one day of recess for hurting Lauren but then the rest for "lying." Before going back to the room, Angel went to the bathroom and cried. He asked God why he was being hurt for telling the truth, and why Tyler wasn't in trouble, when all Angel wanted to do was help. He never got that answer, but all answers are found in the Bible, so he kept reading.
By fifth grade, Angel was a trouble kid. Classes were never a problem, and there wasn't a homework assignment that he couldn't finish in class. He read the Bible, and other books, every day. He knew a lot of things, and the teacher would sometimes get them wrong. "Teacher, that's wrong," he told her one day while talking about planets, "you can't land on Saturn's Rings, they're not really there, they're just rocks. You can land on the rocks though, and that would be cool. But the rings aren't really rings." Because that's what you do when people are wrong, you help them be right, because that's what he was always taught in class and read about in his books. But Teacher didn't like being contradicted, so she sent him to the principal's office for back-talking. This was the first detention Angel got.
On Sunday, in Sunday School, Angel thought, "I can't believe some people don't believe in Jesus. Why wouldn't they want to?"
Jump forward to eighth grade, and Angel had read the whole Bible a few times now. He knew all the stories and all the best verses. He had the highest grades on all his tests. They took a test from the government, and it even made a college offer to teach him extra during the summer, but his parents said no because they didn't want their kid to be 'one of those kids.' He got bunches of detentions, and every time he did, he sat afterschool and read. It wasn't a bad deal.
Then over the trip, Angel hit one of the other kids with a pencil, and the kid's mom, their Sunday School Teacher, took Angel aside and said, "If you ever touch my son again, I'll kill you. I will hunt you down, and kill you on your doorstep." Angel told his dad who was on the trip, and he just laughed and said "That lady is crazy."
And every time he had questions about the Bible, he was told "the answers are in there." So he sat in church every Sunday and read the bible, but then he started getting yelled at for not paying attention to Pastor. Some of the things Pastor said weren't in the Bible though, so Angel realized he had two choices, Stop listening to Pastor when he was talking about things that weren't in the Bible or believe that there were things God wanted for them that weren't in the Bible. By the end of eighth grade, he decided to stop listening to Pastor.
When he stood up and was confirmed in front of the church, he knew he was lying to them by saying some of the things they wanted him to say, but he said it anyways because it made them happy.
~To be continued.
20101130
9.2
That class got cancelled hah. Steven's is almost predictably lazy. It's one of the last classes he'll ever have to teach, and he didn't show up. Since then... I've napped? I flipped out of the information about the Mossad agents killing those scientists (somehow I'm getting this information days late, it's odd.) But then I just came home and napped for a few hours.
Schro actually napped with me, he's been fairly chill all day. A disturbing change of pace, I have to wonder what he's planning.
Gonna try and get chinese food, but convincing people to spend money is hard, and likely not going to happen. I might be able to mooch sidexo off someone though.
Here's to the night,
Angel
Schro actually napped with me, he's been fairly chill all day. A disturbing change of pace, I have to wonder what he's planning.
Gonna try and get chinese food, but convincing people to spend money is hard, and likely not going to happen. I might be able to mooch sidexo off someone though.
Here's to the night,
Angel
Entry 9
Eating breakfast at 1000 today, pancakes topped with syrup, powdered sugar and melted butter. Just slightly on the doughy side. I do enjoy cooking.
Lazy day! Lazy day! I have one last Lazy Day! Then I'm screwed to kingdom come, but that's not today's problem.
Kitten is attempting to steal pancakes. No people food you insane beast.
Just one class today, then back to clean house, play video games and read books. woopie!
Lazy day! Lazy day! I have one last Lazy Day! Then I'm screwed to kingdom come, but that's not today's problem.
Kitten is attempting to steal pancakes. No people food you insane beast.
Just one class today, then back to clean house, play video games and read books. woopie!
20101129
Courtings
LO:
- Likely to be the one I ask out, if any of them, once I find out a little bit more about her. She has surprised me a bit already, and is a quality chess player. I'm intrigued, but not actively pursuing because, let's face it, I'm just not into the whole idea right now.
MO:
- She's simply not attractive to me in any way. She likes me, which is actually unattractive as well. I don't like me, and if I was someone else I wouldn't like who I am now either, so if you do I seem to judge you for it. Oh well.
Beyond that, she's actively needy for positive evaluation. She seems to hinge on every good word and recoil and warp herself with every bad one. Just no self-confidence, and that's something I can't stand.
CT:
- Definitely the person I've got the most ambiguous crush on. It's like a seventh grade crush, I don't even know why it's here, but it is. I would ask her out, but the word on the street is that she's fairly asexual and not looking for a relationship. What a damper.
That's about it for now, there's a few others that flit into the radar, but I've actively disassociated myself from them in that aspect. I am not going to once again be a wedge between two people, and these people have "others" to think about. I can't do that to another person, been there and hated it. Accidentally did that to a few in the past and didn't know it, can't do it again.
Kitty is starting to fall asleep, so I gotta go before he clocks out and I have to wake him up just to run.
Night,
Angel
PS. Dear asofterworld.com, or more importantly Joey,
I get it, but you didn't have to broadcast your big-brother-message across the internet. A quick email would have worked too *facepalm*
Dear octopuspie.com,
Stop reading my mind.
- Likely to be the one I ask out, if any of them, once I find out a little bit more about her. She has surprised me a bit already, and is a quality chess player. I'm intrigued, but not actively pursuing because, let's face it, I'm just not into the whole idea right now.
MO:
- She's simply not attractive to me in any way. She likes me, which is actually unattractive as well. I don't like me, and if I was someone else I wouldn't like who I am now either, so if you do I seem to judge you for it. Oh well.
Beyond that, she's actively needy for positive evaluation. She seems to hinge on every good word and recoil and warp herself with every bad one. Just no self-confidence, and that's something I can't stand.
CT:
- Definitely the person I've got the most ambiguous crush on. It's like a seventh grade crush, I don't even know why it's here, but it is. I would ask her out, but the word on the street is that she's fairly asexual and not looking for a relationship. What a damper.
That's about it for now, there's a few others that flit into the radar, but I've actively disassociated myself from them in that aspect. I am not going to once again be a wedge between two people, and these people have "others" to think about. I can't do that to another person, been there and hated it. Accidentally did that to a few in the past and didn't know it, can't do it again.
Kitty is starting to fall asleep, so I gotta go before he clocks out and I have to wake him up just to run.
Night,
Angel
PS. Dear asofterworld.com, or more importantly Joey,
I get it, but you didn't have to broadcast your big-brother-message across the internet. A quick email would have worked too *facepalm*
Dear octopuspie.com,
Stop reading my mind.
Entry 8.2
One Mr. Schroedinger Loki B~ has gotten a bath tonight, and he smells much the better for it. That was one stinky kitty before.
We had the Rapper (Ranger Sapper) for class today. That's a good time. I think the LTC is a solid guy and a good dad, his kids are lucky to have him.
Other than that, not much is going on. Got to display my wicked Greenlandic butchery that I call "kinda-knowing-the-language" in Myth today as we are going over Norse mythos. The language isn't similar at all, but the pronunciation is close enough that it passes in most cases quite fine.
Geeked out over the Stuxnet virus for a few hours today. Feels good to see that and understand it's world-changing implications. Web and electronic security just ended folks, get a grip on that. It'll be a few years before this type of worm becomes a regular, but until then you still gotta be careful online. No personal information online, otherwise just expect it to be available to other people.
Gotta run a few miles tonight for Bataan, and then wake up to swim tomorrow for the same thing. It might be the death of me, but I think it's worthwhile. I'll just be all toned and super hooah.
I like Eminem's flow way too much, this has been decided. Sheesh.
That's all for the update tonight,
Angel
We had the Rapper (Ranger Sapper) for class today. That's a good time. I think the LTC is a solid guy and a good dad, his kids are lucky to have him.
Other than that, not much is going on. Got to display my wicked Greenlandic butchery that I call "kinda-knowing-the-language" in Myth today as we are going over Norse mythos. The language isn't similar at all, but the pronunciation is close enough that it passes in most cases quite fine.
Geeked out over the Stuxnet virus for a few hours today. Feels good to see that and understand it's world-changing implications. Web and electronic security just ended folks, get a grip on that. It'll be a few years before this type of worm becomes a regular, but until then you still gotta be careful online. No personal information online, otherwise just expect it to be available to other people.
Gotta run a few miles tonight for Bataan, and then wake up to swim tomorrow for the same thing. It might be the death of me, but I think it's worthwhile. I'll just be all toned and super hooah.
I like Eminem's flow way too much, this has been decided. Sheesh.
That's all for the update tonight,
Angel
Entry 8
Long run this morning, feels good to be back with the dysfunctional family. It seems like about half the battalion hates their biological familes and got here as fast as possible. We may hate waking up in the morning, or going to class, or standing out in the cold. We may hate marching with weapons for ten miles at five am, or doing push ups until we cry. We may get screamed at, physically fight each other or make threats about each other's health that can't even be printed without being arrested. But damnit, we're all in this together, and we have each other's backs until we die. And that's what it's all about.
Today should be relatively dull, along with tomorrow. A kitten is purring on me as I sit on my new soft couch (by new I mean 18 years old, and by soft I mean bending because it's broken.) I like it.
Gotta make some food and hopefully take a nap before classes.
Keep it exciting,
Angel
Today should be relatively dull, along with tomorrow. A kitten is purring on me as I sit on my new soft couch (by new I mean 18 years old, and by soft I mean bending because it's broken.) I like it.
Gotta make some food and hopefully take a nap before classes.
Keep it exciting,
Angel
Interlude 1
Just a small playlist for the week. It's gonna be a long one.
Brand New-
-Jesus
-Millstone
-Handcuffs
Say Anything-
- Walk Through Hell
Eminem-
- When I'm Gone
- Lose Yourself
Clint Black-
- Like the Rain
Kenny Chesney-
- Somewhere With You
Tool-
- Aenema
- Vicarious
- Forty-Six and Two
Anberlin-
-Feelgood Drag
-Godspeed
Brand New-
-Jesus
-Millstone
-Handcuffs
Say Anything-
- Walk Through Hell
Eminem-
- When I'm Gone
- Lose Yourself
Clint Black-
- Like the Rain
Kenny Chesney-
- Somewhere With You
Tool-
- Aenema
- Vicarious
- Forty-Six and Two
Anberlin-
-Feelgood Drag
-Godspeed
20101128
Entry 7.1
Heading home. Listening to some Brand New (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_iNdbPvrYk&feature=related) as I drive. I get a new couch today!
But beyond that, I get my kitty back again. Even if he's an asshole, he's my little asshole, and I want him back.
Finger still bleeding with pressure from the scissors incident at work yesterday. That's the bad part about finger wounds, they don't heal very quickly.
Time to stop bleeding on the keyboard again. Though I hear blood sacrifices make things work better.
But beyond that, I get my kitty back again. Even if he's an asshole, he's my little asshole, and I want him back.
Finger still bleeding with pressure from the scissors incident at work yesterday. That's the bad part about finger wounds, they don't heal very quickly.
Time to stop bleeding on the keyboard again. Though I hear blood sacrifices make things work better.
Entry 6
Work work work. Not much to report again. Met Katie Lakin formally tonight, an interesting person. It's funny, because she and I seem like complete opposites to the point that we could be polar opposites, but that's a very shallow idea. In reality we were the same, neither one of us likes killing people or the thought of people dying, the difference was the degree of disgust. She believes in the power and right to life, I don't. That's the big difference, but that's never what the whole thing devolved down to, which confuses me how off topic we got haha.
But that's about it. Heading home in the morning with the new couch (the basement couch, the sleeper one. A queen sized bed pops out of the inside!)
Angel, Out.
But that's about it. Heading home in the morning with the new couch (the basement couch, the sleeper one. A queen sized bed pops out of the inside!)
Angel, Out.
20101127
Entry 5
Party was "meh." Basically all of highschool boiled down into a few hours. Not much to report, think Anna kinda wanted to talk for a bit, but I left pretty aimlessly a few hours in. Maybe I'll try and see if she wanted to talk, and if so if she wants to do it before I leave.
Tkacz was there, acted about as normal as could be hoped. From reports though, she is more insane than ever. That house has left its mark on her, slightly tweaked her in the wrong places. I hope the best for her, but hope that I'm not around to see it go down, whatever it is, when it does.
I dislike Katie, that's all there is to it. She's very pretty, in a Luna Lovegood type of way, but also very much the underhanded queen b. One of the few people I wouldn't want to head off in a game of words, because she likes winning for winning's sake. That makes me mad (probably because it's like me.)
Ben was borderline annoying again. I simply can't be around him anymore.
Mathis seemed preoccupied this evening, more investigation is necessary.
Brandon was good for laughs, as usual. Gotta like a guy who can talk about absolutely nothing and make it amusing.
David, Alicia's new boyfriend. Kid might be gay, but for her sake I want him to just be metro.
Aaand that's about it. Just a lot of people talking, the kind of place I hate the most.
Fin,
Angel
Tkacz was there, acted about as normal as could be hoped. From reports though, she is more insane than ever. That house has left its mark on her, slightly tweaked her in the wrong places. I hope the best for her, but hope that I'm not around to see it go down, whatever it is, when it does.
I dislike Katie, that's all there is to it. She's very pretty, in a Luna Lovegood type of way, but also very much the underhanded queen b. One of the few people I wouldn't want to head off in a game of words, because she likes winning for winning's sake. That makes me mad (probably because it's like me.)
Ben was borderline annoying again. I simply can't be around him anymore.
Mathis seemed preoccupied this evening, more investigation is necessary.
Brandon was good for laughs, as usual. Gotta like a guy who can talk about absolutely nothing and make it amusing.
David, Alicia's new boyfriend. Kid might be gay, but for her sake I want him to just be metro.
Aaand that's about it. Just a lot of people talking, the kind of place I hate the most.
Fin,
Angel
20101125
Entry 4.5, in response to outward stimuli
McCracken contacted me in order to, I don't know, reprimand me? It's not the right word, but it's the first one that comes to mind. This has simply reminded me why highschool was so goddamn terrible and why I hate this town in addition to the people in it.
In light of that, I believe I'm retracting my rsvp to the party tomorrow night. I'll apologize at a later time, or I won't. In all likelihood, it will be the second option. I'm simply far too angry with far too many people involved in that shindig for me to voluntarily show up, and I owe no one there anything more than a curt nod down in passing.
I think I'm going to try and get out of here Saturday directly after work. There's no reason for me to stick around here more than I have to. The sooner I'm out of the entire St. Louis area, the sooner I can bash my head into a wall over and over so I can forget this entire few days. One of those moments where I just look at Greenland and Iceland and think that possibly I should just go now. But I won't. I need start up money, and that's what the next several years are for. The US Army is going to pay for me to live in a different country, the irony doesn't escape me.
But the only thing here on sunday is church, and I can't listen to Pastor Eatherton give another sermon on "keeping marriages in the faith." Every argument I hear him say could word for word be used for race instead. "They could tempt you into their ways." "Their faiths will impure yours." etc etc. Last time, I got up and left and puked outside. I can't believe some of the stuff I hear him say. Religion is a way to cross the boundaries present in all ethical and cultural situations. Some people say that the world would be better without religion, but they're wrong. It's our saving aspect. Without a slightly unified way of thinking, we would have died out a long time ago.
But then to turn it on it's head as a way to hurt people and keep them separated, it's literally enough to make me sick. I have a physical reaction to it, it hits me that hard to hear otherwise good and honest people say it. It's a bastardization of everything that is good and wonderful about the entire thing. A believer shouldn't be worried about protecting their faith. It's there, it's not going anywhere. They should just go out and find someone that they love and care about and be with that person. If they're of different religions? All the better. If I remember right, converts are a believer's favourite word to hear. Who better to convert than your spouse? Are you not strong enough to not "give-in" to your spouse? Are you not provided enough strength for it by your God?
The only way that you can reconcile abandoning someone over religion is simply your own fear. Fear of inadequacy. Fear of losing yourself. But a good spouse isn't trying to change you for themselves, they aren't actively attempting to change you at all. You got married because you accept and cherish that person exactly as they are. If they never changed, you could still be happy forever. If change comes, it's because of the positive forces you display in your life, not through manipulation and games. Manipulation will change actions, but never hearts.
Religion that uses emotional pleas and backhanded manipulation to sway it's faithful and exclude and hurt others isn't a religion at all, it's a hate-cult. If it's ever a them-vs-us situation, get out. Just grab the Bible, grab the Koran, grab the Book of Mormon, the scrolls of Zoroastor, the Baghava-Gita, grab whatever you hold dear, go home and read it. Don't let someone else tell you what to believe. It's your heart, your mind. Religion comes from you, not from the people around you. It's a personal choice, and if you were alone in the world in believing what you do and you give it up because you're alone, then you never really believed. A desert island faith, a place of refuge for yourself and yourself alone. A place where others may visit and leave their mark, but are instructed to leave after a while. A place where it could be just you forever, and you would still be a fast foundation against any coming storm. That is religion, that is faith. Anything less, is nothing.
But I think that's why they try and convince you to never marry outside the faith. Because they know that they can't play the game at that level. When you care about someone, enough "you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for? When they know they're your heart. And you know you were their armour. And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'er" situation, when that person has become so much of you that you let them live with you and be part of your personal religion, then manipulation (outside of where to go for dinner) might as well be playing Russian Roulette. There are no winners, only a bunch of people that get hurt, and those left over to cry over the corpses. And then who would buy that new stain glass window?
In light of that, I believe I'm retracting my rsvp to the party tomorrow night. I'll apologize at a later time, or I won't. In all likelihood, it will be the second option. I'm simply far too angry with far too many people involved in that shindig for me to voluntarily show up, and I owe no one there anything more than a curt nod down in passing.
I think I'm going to try and get out of here Saturday directly after work. There's no reason for me to stick around here more than I have to. The sooner I'm out of the entire St. Louis area, the sooner I can bash my head into a wall over and over so I can forget this entire few days. One of those moments where I just look at Greenland and Iceland and think that possibly I should just go now. But I won't. I need start up money, and that's what the next several years are for. The US Army is going to pay for me to live in a different country, the irony doesn't escape me.
But the only thing here on sunday is church, and I can't listen to Pastor Eatherton give another sermon on "keeping marriages in the faith." Every argument I hear him say could word for word be used for race instead. "They could tempt you into their ways." "Their faiths will impure yours." etc etc. Last time, I got up and left and puked outside. I can't believe some of the stuff I hear him say. Religion is a way to cross the boundaries present in all ethical and cultural situations. Some people say that the world would be better without religion, but they're wrong. It's our saving aspect. Without a slightly unified way of thinking, we would have died out a long time ago.
But then to turn it on it's head as a way to hurt people and keep them separated, it's literally enough to make me sick. I have a physical reaction to it, it hits me that hard to hear otherwise good and honest people say it. It's a bastardization of everything that is good and wonderful about the entire thing. A believer shouldn't be worried about protecting their faith. It's there, it's not going anywhere. They should just go out and find someone that they love and care about and be with that person. If they're of different religions? All the better. If I remember right, converts are a believer's favourite word to hear. Who better to convert than your spouse? Are you not strong enough to not "give-in" to your spouse? Are you not provided enough strength for it by your God?
The only way that you can reconcile abandoning someone over religion is simply your own fear. Fear of inadequacy. Fear of losing yourself. But a good spouse isn't trying to change you for themselves, they aren't actively attempting to change you at all. You got married because you accept and cherish that person exactly as they are. If they never changed, you could still be happy forever. If change comes, it's because of the positive forces you display in your life, not through manipulation and games. Manipulation will change actions, but never hearts.
Religion that uses emotional pleas and backhanded manipulation to sway it's faithful and exclude and hurt others isn't a religion at all, it's a hate-cult. If it's ever a them-vs-us situation, get out. Just grab the Bible, grab the Koran, grab the Book of Mormon, the scrolls of Zoroastor, the Baghava-Gita, grab whatever you hold dear, go home and read it. Don't let someone else tell you what to believe. It's your heart, your mind. Religion comes from you, not from the people around you. It's a personal choice, and if you were alone in the world in believing what you do and you give it up because you're alone, then you never really believed. A desert island faith, a place of refuge for yourself and yourself alone. A place where others may visit and leave their mark, but are instructed to leave after a while. A place where it could be just you forever, and you would still be a fast foundation against any coming storm. That is religion, that is faith. Anything less, is nothing.
But I think that's why they try and convince you to never marry outside the faith. Because they know that they can't play the game at that level. When you care about someone, enough "you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for? When they know they're your heart. And you know you were their armour. And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'er" situation, when that person has become so much of you that you let them live with you and be part of your personal religion, then manipulation (outside of where to go for dinner) might as well be playing Russian Roulette. There are no winners, only a bunch of people that get hurt, and those left over to cry over the corpses. And then who would buy that new stain glass window?
Entry 4
Not much to report. Marched with my ruck in the storms last night. Got 10 miles out, but then tornado alarms went off and I was forced to retire. I was picked up, sad days.
We've got some snow now. It's white, but not too white, just enough to make the roads very dangerous.
Worked today, twas slow. Left early, yeah that slow.
Avoiding doing anything the rest of the day hopefully.
Tomorrow, I've got Anna's birthday party after work. Not sure how that's going to work out. They all intentionally didn't invite me to their Harry Potter movie night, but Anna specifically made sure I was invited to this party. Not sure how to make that, especially because I'm not sure she and Stephen are dating anymore. Odd, annoying and sad. It's one of those situations where I wanted it to work out because I wanted it to be worthwhile, if it doesn't/didn't then it makes me mad.
Beyond her and maybe two others, it's a bunch of people that have been making it a point not to hang out with me. Anna, Matt (kinda?) and Joe/Mathis (though Joe was the one that didn't invite me to HP7) are the only ones I've talked to or hung out with in... a year.
The entire event is going to be an extremely stressful event. I can't imagine how everything is going to plan out, but I said I would be there, so be there I will.
Time to go hide in the basement with the lights off.
~Angel
We've got some snow now. It's white, but not too white, just enough to make the roads very dangerous.
Worked today, twas slow. Left early, yeah that slow.
Avoiding doing anything the rest of the day hopefully.
Tomorrow, I've got Anna's birthday party after work. Not sure how that's going to work out. They all intentionally didn't invite me to their Harry Potter movie night, but Anna specifically made sure I was invited to this party. Not sure how to make that, especially because I'm not sure she and Stephen are dating anymore. Odd, annoying and sad. It's one of those situations where I wanted it to work out because I wanted it to be worthwhile, if it doesn't/didn't then it makes me mad.
Beyond her and maybe two others, it's a bunch of people that have been making it a point not to hang out with me. Anna, Matt (kinda?) and Joe/Mathis (though Joe was the one that didn't invite me to HP7) are the only ones I've talked to or hung out with in... a year.
The entire event is going to be an extremely stressful event. I can't imagine how everything is going to plan out, but I said I would be there, so be there I will.
Time to go hide in the basement with the lights off.
~Angel
20101124
Entry 3
Not much to report today. Dropped kitten off with his brother and sister, almost got shot in the process. Two options were available at a fork in the road, the hill on the left or the hill on the right. I took right being the good gamer I am, and it turned out to not be their house but I wandered around on this dude's porch at 6am. I was later informed that this man was a gunsmith and has shot three people in "defense of self and property." YIKES. Went home after leaving kitty with the townie.
Got a little workout in while waiting for Shackleford and Johnson to show for PT, neither did. Johnson is excused, but Jake is getting his rear handed to him on a grill Monday morning.
Vacuumed the apartment but left the dishes in the sink to ferment and grow. I expect a full scale war on Sunday when I clean those microbes off. It shall be a biological war of epic proportions. I'm psyched.
Stopped in at Westmo, visited sarah, mike, alex and chris.
Sarah is as confused as ever with herself. Still not sure about her approval rating.
Mike seems to be doing a bit better with his self esteem, this is good. Let us now hope that he keeps it up.
Alex looks like that guy from Big Bang Theory, a quick google turns up the name Howard, sounds right. He needs to have a haircut that doesn't make him look like an 80's porn star, both Howard and Alex. But it is amusing, so who is to worry?
Chris seems to be carrying on in the current climate (social and academic) quite nicely. The open access to alcohol would normally be worrying for a character in his position, but as long as he keeps himself in check I believe he'll be fine.
Tried to eat a pepper of some sort while there that was hot and large and absolutely revolting, I take note not to eat it again.
Got home, nothing new. Finished ME2, lost Miranda, but she's kinda worthless, so I don't much mind. Will have to examine the implications of that in ME3 and might have to redo the final mission if she seems to come into play often. I doubt I will though.
That's all for the evening, I am fairly pleased with the day, tomorrow should be Lona-time and not sure what else.
Joyous times,
Angel
Got a little workout in while waiting for Shackleford and Johnson to show for PT, neither did. Johnson is excused, but Jake is getting his rear handed to him on a grill Monday morning.
Vacuumed the apartment but left the dishes in the sink to ferment and grow. I expect a full scale war on Sunday when I clean those microbes off. It shall be a biological war of epic proportions. I'm psyched.
Stopped in at Westmo, visited sarah, mike, alex and chris.
Sarah is as confused as ever with herself. Still not sure about her approval rating.
Mike seems to be doing a bit better with his self esteem, this is good. Let us now hope that he keeps it up.
Alex looks like that guy from Big Bang Theory, a quick google turns up the name Howard, sounds right. He needs to have a haircut that doesn't make him look like an 80's porn star, both Howard and Alex. But it is amusing, so who is to worry?
Chris seems to be carrying on in the current climate (social and academic) quite nicely. The open access to alcohol would normally be worrying for a character in his position, but as long as he keeps himself in check I believe he'll be fine.
Tried to eat a pepper of some sort while there that was hot and large and absolutely revolting, I take note not to eat it again.
Got home, nothing new. Finished ME2, lost Miranda, but she's kinda worthless, so I don't much mind. Will have to examine the implications of that in ME3 and might have to redo the final mission if she seems to come into play often. I doubt I will though.
That's all for the evening, I am fairly pleased with the day, tomorrow should be Lona-time and not sure what else.
Joyous times,
Angel
20101122
Entry 2
Goddamn kids. I swear, if I have to keep another one of you alive because of an injury, I'm gonna beat you all senseless.
Today makes 3 potentially-fatal injuries I've had to prevent/remedy in the last two weeks. The following is my dossier.
Subject: Elliot
Diagnosis: Dehydration
Signs: Stumbling, slurred speech, lowslung eyes, muscle failure
Hazards: Almost fell into razor wire after falling out of Romeo formation during morning PT.
Action: Caught as falling, with Sgt B's help managed to keep off the wires and back onto feet on the road. Got some water in, and stayed with patient until fully conscious and at respectable muscle levels. Ran back with Sgt and patient to platoon formation.
Follow up: Patient was well hydrated and restored back to full health by midday, no real trauma. Sketchy memory of the event, but nothing damaging.
Subject: K
Diagnosis: Shattered Patella, Shock
Signs: Visible trauma to the patella (kneecap) and severe pain (Identified as a 7 out of 10)
Hazards: Patient slammed into an airvent while playing game, destroyed the kneecap on collision, due to the intense and sudden pain, body reverted into shock, threatened convulsions.
Action: Ran onto court, ordered blankets and ice, called 911, stabilized and kept conscious until EMTs arrived and we moved him to a stretcher where he was taken to a hospital. Kid's a trooper.
Follow up: Patient in good spirits. Had a solid surgery, went better than expected, a full recovery is not expected, but 70% capacity is likely. Returning to school at week's end.
Subject: A.S.
Diagnosis: Low Blood Sugar, Head Laceration, Coma, Concussion
Signs: Unconscious, smashed head into ground, rapid blood loss, rating of 3 on GCS
Hazards: Patient passed out in class, slipped and fell to floor, smashing head into ground and spurting blood. No visible signs of activity.
Action: Ordered the class into a basic first aid response: 911, blankets, ice, authorities. Preformed AVPU and GCS. Ratings of U and 3-4 respectively. Tried various methods to wake up, name calling, pain induction (ear pinching) etc. Eventually aroused consciousness, continued evaluating patient every 15 seconds, saw increased activity until 13. Patient denied an ambulance to 911, EMTs deemed unnecessary. Patient fed and watered until back in action 15 minutes later.
I mean goddamn, how many of you do I have to save until people stop trying to die around me? Head wounds? Surgical necessitating problems? RAZOR WIRE?? I swear I will beat every one of you until you stop this junk.
This is exactly why I need combat medic training, people tend to assume it's alright to die around me and apparently I'm the only one who ever balls up and saves them. It would be nice to have certification for this, and a larger knowledge base.
In other news, I completely wrote my literary analysis paper in 2 hours before class (we were given a month to do it) and about 1/3 of it was purely physics. Have fun with that teacher.
Also got a 60 on econ, which was the second highest in the class, giving me a B in the strange world of the econ grading scale.
That is all,
Angel
Today makes 3 potentially-fatal injuries I've had to prevent/remedy in the last two weeks. The following is my dossier.
Subject: Elliot
Diagnosis: Dehydration
Signs: Stumbling, slurred speech, lowslung eyes, muscle failure
Hazards: Almost fell into razor wire after falling out of Romeo formation during morning PT.
Action: Caught as falling, with Sgt B's help managed to keep off the wires and back onto feet on the road. Got some water in, and stayed with patient until fully conscious and at respectable muscle levels. Ran back with Sgt and patient to platoon formation.
Follow up: Patient was well hydrated and restored back to full health by midday, no real trauma. Sketchy memory of the event, but nothing damaging.
Subject: K
Diagnosis: Shattered Patella, Shock
Signs: Visible trauma to the patella (kneecap) and severe pain (Identified as a 7 out of 10)
Hazards: Patient slammed into an airvent while playing game, destroyed the kneecap on collision, due to the intense and sudden pain, body reverted into shock, threatened convulsions.
Action: Ran onto court, ordered blankets and ice, called 911, stabilized and kept conscious until EMTs arrived and we moved him to a stretcher where he was taken to a hospital. Kid's a trooper.
Follow up: Patient in good spirits. Had a solid surgery, went better than expected, a full recovery is not expected, but 70% capacity is likely. Returning to school at week's end.
Subject: A.S.
Diagnosis: Low Blood Sugar, Head Laceration, Coma, Concussion
Signs: Unconscious, smashed head into ground, rapid blood loss, rating of 3 on GCS
Hazards: Patient passed out in class, slipped and fell to floor, smashing head into ground and spurting blood. No visible signs of activity.
Action: Ordered the class into a basic first aid response: 911, blankets, ice, authorities. Preformed AVPU and GCS. Ratings of U and 3-4 respectively. Tried various methods to wake up, name calling, pain induction (ear pinching) etc. Eventually aroused consciousness, continued evaluating patient every 15 seconds, saw increased activity until 13. Patient denied an ambulance to 911, EMTs deemed unnecessary. Patient fed and watered until back in action 15 minutes later.
I mean goddamn, how many of you do I have to save until people stop trying to die around me? Head wounds? Surgical necessitating problems? RAZOR WIRE?? I swear I will beat every one of you until you stop this junk.
This is exactly why I need combat medic training, people tend to assume it's alright to die around me and apparently I'm the only one who ever balls up and saves them. It would be nice to have certification for this, and a larger knowledge base.
In other news, I completely wrote my literary analysis paper in 2 hours before class (we were given a month to do it) and about 1/3 of it was purely physics. Have fun with that teacher.
Also got a 60 on econ, which was the second highest in the class, giving me a B in the strange world of the econ grading scale.
That is all,
Angel
20101121
Entry 1
Start up post, etc. Made dozens of blogs in the past, none continued; might link to some of the old ones later; zanga, blogger, wordpress, maybe all of them.
Went out to smoke some of the new blend that Denny got me in town, tobacco burns, but it calms the mind in the worst storms. Can understand why it's lasted this long in society, but can't let myself have too much, been good about it all year. Once a month or so, just to get my head straight and sorted.
Kitten is sleeping on my lap. Unfortunately will have to wake him so I can write that literary analysis due tomorrow. Was given to us a month ago, just realized what I am going to write it on; Fate.
Doman and I had it out about this topic a few classes back. She blatantly ignored my argument in class, so time to make her understand by forcing her to read 10 pages on the subject. This is why you let me have my two cents, cause I can give the whole dollar if necessary to prove my point.
Fate is personified by Hesiod as three women, but before him, in the Illiad and the Odyssey, there is no such group. Fate is instead just a "force" or quite possibly the will of the gods in some interpretations. But I deny this. If it was the will of the gods, it could be and would be changed with their ever fickle natures. If it was a force, as with all forces, it could be circumvented. IT NEVER IS.
When talking about Fate, one needs to see it as a totality. It's the end product. It's the results of what is to come, but it's neither good nor bad. The problem some people have with Fate is that they don't like the outcome, so they try and change it; by this action they cause it. Also, if you take Fate in stride, it will also happen. This is because Fate isn't a person, it's has no thoughts, it's not a force, it has no power. Fate doesn't exist beyond the perception of it. Instead, Fate is just knowledge in it's purest construct.
Kitten has woken up, and is dead set on typing it seems.
This concept of Fate can be understood in pre-quantum physics, (at the quantum level this idea breaks down due to quantum probability and the impossibility of defining the location and direction of electrons, but we're going to guess the Greeks didn't know about that.) If you lived in a different universe but could still see this one, measure it, analyze it, and put all that information into a machine, you could simulate our universe as a virtual construct and play out the entirety of the life of the universe. You could see how everything, every atom, every person, every plant, how it would die, how it would thrive, and live, and love, and carry on. You would know when everything would happen, when it would happen, where it would happen and why. You would know Fate, because you would know what would happen before it did.
Now go one further than that, a person outside of your universe has a computer that can simulate your universe and ours. Now he can predict what you would do in response to that.
Go further again one universe, and a third observer could predict what he would do.
See how this is going?
Fate is a perfect understanding, but like all knowledge, for it to exist it has to have something that comprehends it. Makes one double think about a lot of things.
In this understanding, "free will" doesn't exist, but it feels like it does. The bouncing atoms and pumping chemicals makes it seem as though free will exists even though it doesn't. But, to those of us on the ground, for all intents and purposes it does. This thinking shouldn't change us into lazy 'what happens, happens' couch potatoes waiting for the world to come; it should galvanize us and make us want to prove me wrong. Because if I were right, this world would be a sad sad place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0reAWsKUPU&feature=related
Likely to skip next semester and go to basic and AIT, 68W, Combat Medic (ahhh, see the name? yup.)
Basic would be nine weeks, AIT would be another 16. somewhere between 6 and 7 months to turn me into a butt-kicking-life-saving machine. I would graduate with my EMT certification, some amazing training under my belt as well as a nice chunk of change in the bank with a larger paycheck.
Major Gardner thinks it's a waste of my time, but I think I should do it. I'm waiting to hear from Sgt Byers on the topic as well.
See you later, Space Cowboy.
Went out to smoke some of the new blend that Denny got me in town, tobacco burns, but it calms the mind in the worst storms. Can understand why it's lasted this long in society, but can't let myself have too much, been good about it all year. Once a month or so, just to get my head straight and sorted.
Kitten is sleeping on my lap. Unfortunately will have to wake him so I can write that literary analysis due tomorrow. Was given to us a month ago, just realized what I am going to write it on; Fate.
Doman and I had it out about this topic a few classes back. She blatantly ignored my argument in class, so time to make her understand by forcing her to read 10 pages on the subject. This is why you let me have my two cents, cause I can give the whole dollar if necessary to prove my point.
Fate is personified by Hesiod as three women, but before him, in the Illiad and the Odyssey, there is no such group. Fate is instead just a "force" or quite possibly the will of the gods in some interpretations. But I deny this. If it was the will of the gods, it could be and would be changed with their ever fickle natures. If it was a force, as with all forces, it could be circumvented. IT NEVER IS.
When talking about Fate, one needs to see it as a totality. It's the end product. It's the results of what is to come, but it's neither good nor bad. The problem some people have with Fate is that they don't like the outcome, so they try and change it; by this action they cause it. Also, if you take Fate in stride, it will also happen. This is because Fate isn't a person, it's has no thoughts, it's not a force, it has no power. Fate doesn't exist beyond the perception of it. Instead, Fate is just knowledge in it's purest construct.
Kitten has woken up, and is dead set on typing it seems.
This concept of Fate can be understood in pre-quantum physics, (at the quantum level this idea breaks down due to quantum probability and the impossibility of defining the location and direction of electrons, but we're going to guess the Greeks didn't know about that.) If you lived in a different universe but could still see this one, measure it, analyze it, and put all that information into a machine, you could simulate our universe as a virtual construct and play out the entirety of the life of the universe. You could see how everything, every atom, every person, every plant, how it would die, how it would thrive, and live, and love, and carry on. You would know when everything would happen, when it would happen, where it would happen and why. You would know Fate, because you would know what would happen before it did.
Now go one further than that, a person outside of your universe has a computer that can simulate your universe and ours. Now he can predict what you would do in response to that.
Go further again one universe, and a third observer could predict what he would do.
See how this is going?
Fate is a perfect understanding, but like all knowledge, for it to exist it has to have something that comprehends it. Makes one double think about a lot of things.
In this understanding, "free will" doesn't exist, but it feels like it does. The bouncing atoms and pumping chemicals makes it seem as though free will exists even though it doesn't. But, to those of us on the ground, for all intents and purposes it does. This thinking shouldn't change us into lazy 'what happens, happens' couch potatoes waiting for the world to come; it should galvanize us and make us want to prove me wrong. Because if I were right, this world would be a sad sad place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0reAWsKUPU&feature=related
Likely to skip next semester and go to basic and AIT, 68W, Combat Medic (ahhh, see the name? yup.)
Basic would be nine weeks, AIT would be another 16. somewhere between 6 and 7 months to turn me into a butt-kicking-life-saving machine. I would graduate with my EMT certification, some amazing training under my belt as well as a nice chunk of change in the bank with a larger paycheck.
Major Gardner thinks it's a waste of my time, but I think I should do it. I'm waiting to hear from Sgt Byers on the topic as well.
See you later, Space Cowboy.
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