Sigh, another day, same thing, only worse.
Nothing of note to report. Saw some John Water's films, Pink Flamingos and A Dirty Shame. Read a few manga at my old work. Read a bit more of Inside Delta Force.
Tis about it. Need to workout, likely I'll only get around to doing some pushups.
Thats it,
Angel
20110103
Tolls
If anything happens when I die, it's going to go down as follows. This would be what would happen if it all ended right now.
Diety: What is it that you wanted to do in life?
Me: I liked climbing mountains, camping, examining systems and understanding people.
D: I didn't ask what you liked, I asked what you wanted to do.
M: I didn't really have a goal, just kinda floundered around doing what I enjoyed as much as possible. I guess that's a goal? Be happy? Have fun doing what I like to do?
D: Really? How did that work out?
M: Not too well, I got to climb some, but not as often as I would like, I put off camping because I couldn't take doing it alone again, I spent a lot of time not doing anything instead of breaking things down like I enjoy, and I never got the hang of people at all.
D: Didn't you want a family?
M: Have you seen me? The only thing more terrifying than one of me, is several of me all going through childhood all at the same time. There isn't a school or woman around that would survive. But I guess that's really more of an excuse, truth is: I don't much like people. I hadn't found a female that I haven't gotten bored of in a few weeks. And those that came close, in the end I ended up hurting so badly they required meds.
D: That was their decision to stay, not yours.
M: True, but that doesn't absolve me. You don't yell at a kitten for chewing through a power cable. All it saw was something shiny that was swinging back and forth in its face.
D: Some superiority going on there isn't there?
M: I didn't fail often, I'm told I was attractive. I never have a shortage of people that want to hang out. I understood almost any material presented to me and I had a penchant for doing the "unreasonable" or "impossible." I picked up the superiority complex sometime in the midteens somewhere between my first kiss and my first chemical explosion. I tried to not let it affect my relationships, but I'm aware it did. Though some say a bit of arrogance isn't a bad thing, keeps you moving forward and advancing yourself to stay ahead of the curve.
D: Explaining it away?
M: Totally.
D: Hah, fair enough. Last question; did you do everything that you did, as good as you could do it, and with the heart of someone who cares about the end result? I don't care if you were a serial killer, or a healer, or a bank robber or a GMan. Whatever it is that you did, did you care enough to do it well?
M: I think so... yeah, I guess I did. I didn't half ass something when I wanted it, I went out and took it. It's probably because I was too scared I would lose it, have it slip through my fingers, but I went out and seized it.
D: Reasons are useless, the only thing that matters is what you do, not why you did it. In the end, no one knows why they do things, you can't think it through all the way, it's simply not possible. But what you do is what defines you.
M: Then yeah, I did what I did because I wanted it done.
D: Good man, let's go grab lunch.
Diety: What is it that you wanted to do in life?
Me: I liked climbing mountains, camping, examining systems and understanding people.
D: I didn't ask what you liked, I asked what you wanted to do.
M: I didn't really have a goal, just kinda floundered around doing what I enjoyed as much as possible. I guess that's a goal? Be happy? Have fun doing what I like to do?
D: Really? How did that work out?
M: Not too well, I got to climb some, but not as often as I would like, I put off camping because I couldn't take doing it alone again, I spent a lot of time not doing anything instead of breaking things down like I enjoy, and I never got the hang of people at all.
D: Didn't you want a family?
M: Have you seen me? The only thing more terrifying than one of me, is several of me all going through childhood all at the same time. There isn't a school or woman around that would survive. But I guess that's really more of an excuse, truth is: I don't much like people. I hadn't found a female that I haven't gotten bored of in a few weeks. And those that came close, in the end I ended up hurting so badly they required meds.
D: That was their decision to stay, not yours.
M: True, but that doesn't absolve me. You don't yell at a kitten for chewing through a power cable. All it saw was something shiny that was swinging back and forth in its face.
D: Some superiority going on there isn't there?
M: I didn't fail often, I'm told I was attractive. I never have a shortage of people that want to hang out. I understood almost any material presented to me and I had a penchant for doing the "unreasonable" or "impossible." I picked up the superiority complex sometime in the midteens somewhere between my first kiss and my first chemical explosion. I tried to not let it affect my relationships, but I'm aware it did. Though some say a bit of arrogance isn't a bad thing, keeps you moving forward and advancing yourself to stay ahead of the curve.
D: Explaining it away?
M: Totally.
D: Hah, fair enough. Last question; did you do everything that you did, as good as you could do it, and with the heart of someone who cares about the end result? I don't care if you were a serial killer, or a healer, or a bank robber or a GMan. Whatever it is that you did, did you care enough to do it well?
M: I think so... yeah, I guess I did. I didn't half ass something when I wanted it, I went out and took it. It's probably because I was too scared I would lose it, have it slip through my fingers, but I went out and seized it.
D: Reasons are useless, the only thing that matters is what you do, not why you did it. In the end, no one knows why they do things, you can't think it through all the way, it's simply not possible. But what you do is what defines you.
M: Then yeah, I did what I did because I wanted it done.
D: Good man, let's go grab lunch.
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